Quotes and Jokes (4 Viewers)

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What are you having for Thanksgiving ...?
 

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As I was coming home and worrying about all the stuff going on in my life,

my family's lives, my friends' lives, and what's happening in Paris,

Washington, Moscow, Ukraine, the Middle East, Hillary Clinton, Jeb, Trump,

Fox News, CNN, the downgrading of our military, the terrorists infiltrating

our border, the illegals, the refugees, and how our country is rapidly

losing its sanity and its Christianity, I saw a yard sign that said:



NEED HELP?



CALL JESUS



1-800-555-3787



Out of curiosity and desperation, I called the number.





A Mexican showed up with a lawnmower.
 
"A liberal paradise would be a place where everybody has guaranteed employment,
free comprehensive healthcare, free education, free food, free housing,
free clothing, free utilities, and only law enforcement has guns.
And believe it or not, such a place does, indeed, exist……it's called prison."

~Sheriff Joe Apaio~
 
The Middle East - Explained

President Assad (who is bad) is a nasty guy who got so nasty his people
rebelled and the Rebels (who are good) started winning (Hurrah!).

But then some of the rebels turned a bit nasty and are now called Islamic
State (who are definitely bad!) and some continued to support democracy (who are still good.)

So the Americans (who are good) started bombing Islamic State (who are
bad) and giving arms to the Syrian Rebels (who are good) so they could
fight Assad (who is still bad) which was good.

By the way, there is a breakaway state in the north run by the Kurds who
want to fight IS (which is a good thing) but the Turkish authorities think
they are bad, so we have to say they are bad whilst secretly thinking
they're good and giving them guns to fight IS (which is good) but that is
another matter.

Getting back to Syria.

So President Putin (who is bad, cos he invaded Crimea and the Ukraine and killed lots of folks including that nice Russian man in London with polonium-poisoned sushi) has decided to back Assad (who is still bad ) by attacking
IS (who are also bad) which is sort of a good thing?

But Putin (still bad) thinks the Syrian Rebels (who are good) are also
bad, and so he bombs them too, much to the annoyance of the Americans (who are good) who are busy backing and arming the rebels (who are also good).

Now Iran (who used to be bad, but now they have agreed not to build any
nuclear weapons and bomb Israel are now good) are going to provide ground troops to support Assad (still bad) as are the Russians (bad) who now have ground troops and aircraft in Syria.

So a Coalition of Assad (still bad) Putin (extra bad) and the Iranians (good, but in a bad sort of way) are going to attack IS (who are bad)
which is a good thing, but also the Syrian Rebels (who are good) which is bad.

Now the British (obviously good, except that nice Mr Corbyn in the corduroy
jacket, who is probably bad) and the Americans (also good) cannot attack
Assad (still bad) for fear of upsetting Putin (bad) and Iran (good/bad) and now they have to accept that Assad might not be that bad after all...
compared to IS (who are super bad).

So Assad (bad) is now probably good, being better than IS (but lets face
it, drinking your own wee is better than IS so no real choice there) and
since Putin and Iran are also fighting IS that may now make them... Good.
America (still Good) will find it hard to arm a group of rebels being
attacked by the Russians for fear of upsetting Mr Putin (now good) and
that nice, mad Ayatollah in Iran (also Good) and so they may be forced to
say that the Rebels are now Bad, or at the very least abandon them to their
fate. This will lead most of them to flee to Turkey and on to Europe or join
IS (still the only consIStantly bad group).

To Sunni Muslims, an attack by Shia Muslims (Assad and Iran) backed by
Russians will be seen as something of a Holy War, and the ranks of IS will
now be seen by the Sunnis as the only Jihadis fighting in the Holy War and
hence many Muslims will now see IS as Good ( Doh!.)

Sunni Muslims will also see the lack of action by Britain and America in
support of their Sunni rebel brothers as something of a betrayal (mmm. might have a point!) and hence we will be seen as Bad.

So now we have America (now bad) and Britain ( also bad ) providing
limited support to Sunni Rebels (bad) many of whom are looking to IS (
Good / bad) for support against Assad (now good) who, along with Iran (
also Good) and Putin (also, now, unbelievably, Good) are attempting to
retake the country Assad used to run before all this started.

THERE NOW.........I hope that clears all this up for you.
 

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