The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I
begin?
My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium
with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a
fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father
would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he
invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being
lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the
insane lament.
My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring
we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and
beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received
my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma
ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn
scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.
Just kidding, Gent's.
I ended up with FAA Airman Certificate 1361669, COMM SMEL INST ATP B-707,
720, 727, 747, 757, 767, and L-1011. Retired TWA L-1011 Capt. in 1987 after
30 years.
Accumulated around 20,000 hours in 7 logbooks over 34 years. No accidents or
incidents, no damage except a blown tire in a B-727 at CLE..
Suckered into landing when the runway had about 4" of standing water -
Hydroplaned, had to turn off Anti-Skid to stop. Tower never mentioned
standing water "Cleared to land TWA".
begin?
My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium
with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a
fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father
would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he
invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being
lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the
insane lament.
My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring
we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and
beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received
my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma
ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn
scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.
Just kidding, Gent's.
I ended up with FAA Airman Certificate 1361669, COMM SMEL INST ATP B-707,
720, 727, 747, 757, 767, and L-1011. Retired TWA L-1011 Capt. in 1987 after
30 years.
Accumulated around 20,000 hours in 7 logbooks over 34 years. No accidents or
incidents, no damage except a blown tire in a B-727 at CLE..
Suckered into landing when the runway had about 4" of standing water -
Hydroplaned, had to turn off Anti-Skid to stop. Tower never mentioned
standing water "Cleared to land TWA".
