Maestro
Master Sergeant
Greetings ladies and gentlemen.
I just received the unwanted visit of a Jeovah Witness about 30 minutes ago... The first one since my father got pissed off at one about 15 years ago. So, like most of us find those bastards kind of annoying, I had the idea of starting a thread to share our tricks on getting rid of them. May be one of them will work for good...
Here are a few I thought about or that others shared with me... Note that I'll be posting only the family-friendly ones.
1 - When they ask you the question : "Do you think it is important for peoples to read the bible nowadays ?", answer "No." Then when they asks you "Why ?" answer : "Well, if you need to base your life on principles that were written 2000 years ago, then you are even more retarded than you look like..." Then violently close and lock the door.
2 - When they ask you the question : "Do you think it is important for peoples to read the bible nowadays ?", take your most insane look and answer : "Oh, yeah... I always read the bible when I host my mass in the basement, dressed in a black robe and holding a cup of bat blood in front of the desk on which a young woman is laying naked..." Then have a quick look on his "Now, I'm screwed !" face before violently closing and locking the door.
3 - (That one was shared on the radio a few years back.) If they happen to come when you're just getting out of the shower, make sure there is no children with them (or in the immediate area) then open wide your bath robe and say out loud : "Long live Satan"... and watch them run away.
4 - Place a sign at the door that reads : "Jeovah Witnesses wil be shot on sight." Although if they come knocking at your door anyway, you're kinda screwed.
5 - When they ask you the question : "Do you think it is important for peoples to read the bible nowadays ?", answer "So you can read... Congratulations. I can shoot a bullet in a dice at 600 yards, can you run fast enough ?" Then violently close and lock the door.
Now, what are your tricks ?
I just received the unwanted visit of a Jeovah Witness about 30 minutes ago... The first one since my father got pissed off at one about 15 years ago. So, like most of us find those bastards kind of annoying, I had the idea of starting a thread to share our tricks on getting rid of them. May be one of them will work for good...
Here are a few I thought about or that others shared with me... Note that I'll be posting only the family-friendly ones.
1 - When they ask you the question : "Do you think it is important for peoples to read the bible nowadays ?", answer "No." Then when they asks you "Why ?" answer : "Well, if you need to base your life on principles that were written 2000 years ago, then you are even more retarded than you look like..." Then violently close and lock the door.
2 - When they ask you the question : "Do you think it is important for peoples to read the bible nowadays ?", take your most insane look and answer : "Oh, yeah... I always read the bible when I host my mass in the basement, dressed in a black robe and holding a cup of bat blood in front of the desk on which a young woman is laying naked..." Then have a quick look on his "Now, I'm screwed !" face before violently closing and locking the door.
3 - (That one was shared on the radio a few years back.) If they happen to come when you're just getting out of the shower, make sure there is no children with them (or in the immediate area) then open wide your bath robe and say out loud : "Long live Satan"... and watch them run away.
4 - Place a sign at the door that reads : "Jeovah Witnesses wil be shot on sight." Although if they come knocking at your door anyway, you're kinda screwed.
5 - When they ask you the question : "Do you think it is important for peoples to read the bible nowadays ?", answer "So you can read... Congratulations. I can shoot a bullet in a dice at 600 yards, can you run fast enough ?" Then violently close and lock the door.
Now, what are your tricks ?
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