Christmas Fragrances for Men

Discussion in 'The NAAFI & PX' started by Red Sailor, Feb 5, 2016.

  1. Red Sailor

    Red Sailor New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2016
    Messages:
    14
    Likes Received:
    7
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    When discussing what I want for Christmas with my better half I sometimes forget to remember that she takes everything literally and her memory would put an elephant to shame - it's like a steel trap. In a casual conversation months ago we had discussed men's toiletries and I ventured the view that most of the often expensive aftershaves I usually got for Christmas from young female relatives, would, if I had used them had me smelling like a raving poofter.


    I had mentioned how I missed the aftershaves of yesteryear like Old Spice, Paco Rabanne and my favourite, Mennen Skin Bracer. Then all were reasonably priced and giving off subtle odours that any self-respecting submariner could comfortably wear to combat the anti-social essence of eu-de-diesel. I went on to explain that having researched them on the web I found that Paco Rabanne had rocketed in price to £5 a millilitre today as opposed to around £5 a gallon back then. Old Spice seemed to either in be short supply or possibly unwanted, with Mennen Skin Bracer sadly no longer being marketed in the UK.


    No surprise then on Christmas morning to find when unwrapping my presents, my beloved had bought me, amongst other gifts, a huge package of Old Spice after shave lotions and deodorant sprays. I kid you not, this supply will last me till the day I pop my clogs. I could maybe swim in the stuff or at least try snorting in a bath full of it. I don't know whether its my memory or sense of smell deserting me but it honestly it doesn't smell anything like the original fragrance to me anymore. Nothing unpleasant but just totally different somehow.


    Before the 70’s if a young man wanted to impress his girlfriend with an odour slightly more pleasing than a Neanderthal’s crotch after he had been chased for an hour by a woolly mammoth, they were faced with the bewildering choice of ‘Old Spice’ or, errh! ‘Old Spice’. But a 70’s youth was faced with an amazing array of fragrances lead by the market leader ‘Brut 33’ and closely followed by ‘Hai Karate’. But whereas the mighty Brut had an advertising TV campaign featuring sports stars of the day such as footballer Kevin Keegan, and boxing champions Henry Cooper and John Conteh "splashing it all over", the Hai Karate adverts had a plot line which made the truly awful ‘Carry On’ comedy films look like a slightly more than complex ‘ShawshankRedemption’.


    Basically the ads started off with a nerdy looking bespectacled geek liberally dousing himself with Hai Karate and then going for a walk, or in later ads, going to the hospital or somewhere else equally mundane. It was then that fantasy kicked in! The geek always managed to bump into the same voluptuous, busty brunette (played by the gorgeous Valerie Leon of Hammer movies fame) who, overwhelmed by the amazing potency of Hai Karate, turned from a respectable passer-by into a sex-crazed nymphomaniac. Our geek hero would then proceed to attempt to fight her off with a series of pathetic martial art manoeuvres before finally succumbing to her insatiable fragrance-fuelled sexual frenzy.


    Hai Karate actually smelt like crap An initial sniff of the contents of the bottle with it’s Japanese characters (which I’m reliably informed actually says “This smells like cat’s pee”) delighted the sniffer with a bouquet that really chucked up with a hideous combination of vinegar, ammonia and mixed spices. But this didn’t really matter as within seconds the fumes would destroy every sensory gland within the victim’s nasal passages leading to a complete loss of smell. Thankfully, this was only a temporary condition and a sense of smell would normally return. Of course to a woman, rather than bring on an insatiable desire for sex, which they were willing to fight for, Hai Karate would instead invoke a nauseous attack of disgust and total revulsion.In later ads the busty femme-fatale would be cunningly disguised as a dental nurse, a librarian or a traffic warden, but the plot remained the same and nerd always submitted to her seductive ‘charms’.


    By the end of the 70's young men were being introduced to the first of the new designer fragrances such as "Paco Rabanne", "Canoe" and "Jazz" and Hai Karate naturally died a death. I once bought my Dad a Hai Karate gift set one Christmas only to receive it back for my birthday the following October. Served me right I suppose but at least he agreed with me that Valerie Leon was definitely the bee's knees..However, now, like most things from the 70’s, Hai Karate is looked back on with affection by those who for many was their first experience of trying to smell good for a girl and this combined with the deliberately comical advertising campaign has ensured that Hai Karate is and always will remain a 70’s icon.
     
  2. GrauGeist

    GrauGeist Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2008
    Messages:
    15,206
    Likes Received:
    2,043
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Occupation:
    Public Safety Automotive Technician
    Location:
    Redding, California
    Home Page:
    I had to laugh at the description of "Hai Karate", which was very accurate!

    My Dad used Old Spice back in the 70's along with another, that you failed to mention: English Leather.

    Those were the popular "fragrances" of the day and while I would never wear them myself, certainly do bring back memories.
     
  3. vikingBerserker

    vikingBerserker Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2009
    Messages:
    24,075
    Likes Received:
    655
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Occupation:
    Korporate Kontrolleur
    Location:
    South Carolina
    My dad bathed in "Brute 33".
     
  4. rochie

    rochie Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2006
    Messages:
    14,640
    Likes Received:
    426
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Head chef
    Location:
    billingham nr middlesbrough uk
    Yep that was the one i remember my dax having, though old spice did make an appearance !

    Jazz and Kouros were very trendy in my teens during the 80's
     
  5. Airframes

    Airframes Benevolens Magister

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2008
    Messages:
    47,697
    Likes Received:
    1,419
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Retired
    Location:
    Cheshire, UK
    Funnily enough, I got some Old Spice recently, and you're right - it doesn't seem the same.
    I remember doing a para refresher course in the mid 1970's, when 1 PTS was still at Abingdon. A girl friend had made me go 'up market', and insisted I use the then 'posh', and rather expensive 'Aramis' aftershave.
    I might have smelled like a 'Whore handbag', but it seemed to have the right effect on the WAAFS at the station !
    The other lads on the course pooled their money, and rushed out to buy some !!
     
Loading...
Similar Threads
  1. Donivanp
    Replies:
    5
    Views:
    223
  2. Lucky13
    Replies:
    12
    Views:
    571
  3. Lucky13
    Replies:
    17
    Views:
    1,229
  4. piet
    Replies:
    31
    Views:
    1,952
  5. cheddar cheese
    Replies:
    115
    Views:
    8,868

Share This Page