ED's Furry F#@#@! Guide To Metal!!!!

Discussion in 'Music' started by Marcel, May 9, 2008.

  1. Marcel

    Marcel Well-Known Member

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  2. Matt308

    Matt308 Glock Perfection
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    I laughed my @SS off!!!!!
     
  3. Screaming Eagle

    Screaming Eagle Active Member

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  4. Heinz

    Heinz Active Member

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    Funny stuff :lol:
     
  5. DerAdlerIstGelandet

    DerAdlerIstGelandet Der Crew Chief
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    :lol:

    That was good.

    Here you might like this as well (sorry for the real bad spelling and grammar errors. I just cut and pasted it off of a website).

    Saving the Princess

    Ok let us suppose that "there is a beautiful princess, trapped high in a castle, guarded by a terrible and giant dragon... and her hero comes to the rescue..."

    Here is how it would end, depending on the style of music the hero listens to:

    POWER METAL:
    Hero rides in on a white unicorn, slays the dragon with an elven sword, rescues the princess and makes love to her in the enchanted forest.

    THRASH METAL:
    Hero comes with the biggest mug of beer, beats the dragon to death and ****s the princess. Then he leaves in search of more beer.

    HEAVY METAL:
    Hero drives in on his Harley, kills the dragon, drinks a couple of bottles of beer and has sex with the princess.

    TRUE METAL:
    The hero arrives at the castle with his shinnig blade, has an epic battle with the dragon which ends in the death for the dragon. Then the hero goes up into the castle and, all bathed in blood, has sex with the princess.

    FOLK METAL:
    Hero comes with a bunch of friends who are playing accordions, violins, flutes and other instruments. Seeing all this, the dragon gets tired and falls asleep. After that, the hero and his friends leave....

    Without the princess..

    VIKING METAL:
    Hero sails in on his drakkar, with his giant axe he chops off the dragon's head, skins the dragon's body and eats it. He rapes the princess till she dies, steals all the treasure from the castle and sets the castle on fire before sailing away on his drakkar.

    DEATH METAL:
    Hero comes in, kills the dragon, has sex with the princes, kills her and then leaves.

    BLACK METAL:
    Hero appears at midnight, murders the dragon and impales his body on a stake in front of the castle. After that, he sodomizes the princess, drinking her blood in the process. After that, he impales her body on the same stake.

    GORE METAL:
    Hero appears, brutally murders the dragon, spreading all of the dragon's entrails in front of the castle. He ****s the princess, then kills her. He then ****s her corpse, rips open her belly and eats her innards. He then ****s the corpse again and burns it.

    DOOM METAL:
    Hero appears, sees how huge the dragon is and thinks about the fact that he can never defeat such a huge beast. He gets very depressed and commits suicide. The dragon devours hero's lifeless body. Such is the end of this sad, melancholy story...

    PROGRESSIVE METAL:
    Hero appears with his guitar and plays a solo lasting 26 minutes. Dragon kills himslelf from boredom. Hero then enters the room of the princess where he proceeds to play another solo utilizing all the advanced guitar techniques he learned in conservatory. Princess runs away in search of hero from DEATH METAL section.

    HARD ROCK:
    The hero drives up in a red muscle car along with 2 big breasted blondes, slays the dragon with a knife and then has a threesome with the 2 blondes and the princess.

    GLAM ROCK:
    Hero comes and the dragon looks at him and starts laughing his ass off... the hero goes to the princess steals all her make up and hair products and escapes while the dragon is still laughing.
     
  6. Marcel

    Marcel Well-Known Member

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  7. Screaming Eagle

    Screaming Eagle Active Member

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  8. eddie_brunette

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    :) :) At least our metalheads always get laid :) :)

    brilliant thanks
    edd
     
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