In Fighter Pilot Heaven

Discussion in 'OFF-Topic / Misc.' started by Hunter368, Sep 19, 2007.

  1. Hunter368

    Hunter368 Active Member

    Nov 5, 2005
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    * Everybody's a Captain except God.... He's a Major.
    * You only come to work when you're going to fly....
    * You fly three times a day except Friday.
    * You never run out of gas.
    * The missions are only one hour long and no briefings are ever required.
    * You are always on TDY and there are no check rides.
    * It is always VFR and there are never any ATC delays.
    * You can fly out of the area and flight down to 50' AGL is approved.
    * There are no "over G's".
    * You always fly overhead landing patterns with initial approach at 20', then break left.
    * You can go cross-country anytime you desire. The farther the better!
    * There are no ORI's (Operational Readiness Inspections).
    * There is no SOF (Supervisor of Flying) or mobile tower duty.
    * There are no Friday meetings, but Friday evening "Stag Bar" is mandatory.
    * There are no Flight Surgeons.
    * There are no Wing staff jobs.
    * You don't need a kitchen pass, and the kitchen and bar are always open.
    * "Happy Hour" begins at 1400 hours and lasts til 0200 hours.
    * Supersof is the bartender. The other five are big-bosomed blondes.
    * Beer is free, but whiskey costs five cents.
    * The bar serves only Chivas Regal, Jack Daniels, and Beefeaters.
    * The girls are all friendly and each fighter pilot is allowed three.
    * There are no fat women and the thin ones look like Sophia Loren.
    * Country and Western music is free on the juke box.
    * The craps tables are always HOT and you never lose at blackjack!
    * You never lose your room key and your buddies never leave you stranded at the club.
    * The sun always shines and you can put your hat in your leg pocket.
    * Flight suits are allowed in the Officers Club at all times.
    * The motor pool always provides a staff car for visiting fighter pilots.
    * The Base Exchange always has every item you ask for. Most are free.
    * There are never any cross-wind landings and the runways are always dry.
    * Control tower flybys for a wheels UP check can be made at 600 knots.
    * There are never any noise complaints.
    * Full afterburner climbs over your house are encouraged.
    * ER's (Efficiency Reports) always contain the statement "Outstanding Officer".
    * Formal functions requiring Class "A" or formal attire never occur.
    * "Ace" status is conferred upon all fighter pilots entering Heaven.
    * There is no Hell.
    * All air traffic controllers are friendly, and always provide priority handling.
    * The airplanes never break.

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