New Recruit Training Standards

Discussion in 'OFF-Topic / Misc.' started by Hunter368, Sep 25, 2007.

  1. Hunter368

    Hunter368 Active Member

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    WASHINGTON - (AP) In an effort to ensure proper training and readiness among the military services, Congress has approved the following changes to basic principles of recruit training:

    HAIRCUTS:

    Marines-heads will be shaved.

    Army-flat-tops for all recruits.

    Navy-no haircut standard.

    Air Force-complete makeovers as seen on the Jenny Jones show.



    TRAINING HOURS:

    Marines-rise at 0500, train until 2000.

    Army-rise at 0600, train until 1900.

    Navy-rise at 0900, train until 1100, lunch til 1300, train till 1600.

    Air Force-rise at 1000, breakfast in bed, lunch at 1200, nap at 1400, training ceases at 1500.



    MEALS:

    Marines-Meals-Ready-to-Eat 3 times a day.

    Army-one hot meal, 2 MRE's.

    Navy-3 hot meals.

    Air Force-catered meals prepared by the Galloping Gourmet, Julia Childs, and Wolfgang Puck. All you can eat.



    LEAVE and LIBERTY:

    Marines-none.

    Army-4 hours a week.

    Navy-2 days a week.

    Air Force-for every four hours of training, recruits will receive eight hours of leave and liberty.



    PROTOCOL:

    Marines-will address all officers as "Sir" and refer to the rank of all enlisted members when speaking to them (i.e. Sgt Smith).

    Army-will address all officers as "Sir", unless they are friends, and will call all enlisted personnel Sarge.

    Navy-will address all officers as Skipper, and all enlisted personnel as Chief.

    Air Force-all Air Force personnel shall be on a first name basis with all other personnel.



    DECORATIONS/AWARDS:

    Marines-medals and badges are awarded for acts of gallantry and bravery.

    Army-medals and badges are awarded for every bullet fired, hand grenade thrown,

    fitness test passed, and bed made.

    Navy-will have ships engineers make medals for them as needed.

    Air Force-will be issued all medals as they will most likely be awarded them at some point early in their careers.



    CAMOUFLAGE UNIFORMS:

    Marines-work uniform, to be worn only during training and in field situations.

    Army-will wear it anytime, anywhere.

    Navy-will not wear cammies, they do not camouflage you on a ship. Captains will make every effort to TRY to explain this to our sailors.

    Air Force-will defeat the purpose of camouflage by putting blue and grey service chevrons and name tapes on them.



    CAREER FIELDS:

    Marines-all Marines shall be considered riflemen first and foremost.

    Army-doesn't matter, all career fields promote to E-8 in first enlistment.

    Navy-nobody knows. Navy still trying figure out what all the SMC, BNC, BSN, and all the other ratings things are.

    Air Force-every recruit will be trained in a manner that will allow them to leave the service early to go on to higher paying civilian jobs.
     
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