Night Before Christmas.

Discussion in 'OFF-Topic / Misc.' started by Vic Balshaw, Dec 23, 2013.

  1. Vic Balshaw

    Vic Balshaw Well-Known Member

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    I know this has probably been posted many times on the forum but as it is Christmas Eve, I think this is a worthy time to give it another airing.

    T'WAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS,
    HE LIVED ALL ALONE,
    IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE,
    MADE OF PLASTER AND STONE.
    I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY,
    WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE,
    AND TO SEE JUST WHO,
    IN THIS HOME, DID LIVE.

    I LOOKED ALL ABOUT,
    A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE,
    NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS,
    NOT EVEN A TREE.

    NO STOCKING BY MANTLE,
    JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND,
    ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES,
    OF FAR DISTANT LANDS.

    WITH MEDALS AND BADGES,
    AWARDS OF ALL KINDS,
    A SOBER THOUGHT,
    CAME THROUGH MY MIND.

    FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT,
    IT WAS DARK AND DREARY,
    I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER,
    ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY.

    THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING,
    SILENT, ALONE,
    CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR,
    IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME.

    THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE,
    THE ROOM IN DISORDER,
    NOT HOW I PICTURED,
    A TRUE BRITISH SOLDIER.

    WAS THIS THE HERO,
    OF WHOM I'D JUST READ?
    CURLED UP ON A PONCHO,
    THE FLOOR FOR A BED?

    I REALISED THE FAMILIES,
    THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT,
    OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS,
    WHO WERE WILLING TO FIGHT.

    SOON ROUND THE WORLD,
    THE CHILDREN WOULD PLAY,
    AND GROWNUPS WOULD CELEBRATE,
    A BRIGHT CHRISTMAS DAY.

    THEY ALL ENJOYED FREEDOM,
    EACH MONTH OF THE YEAR,
    BECAUSE OF THE SOLDIERS,
    LIKE THE ONE LYING HERE.

    I COULDN'T HELP WONDER,
    HOW MANY LAY ALONE,
    ON A COLD CHRISTMAS EVE,
    IN A LAND FAR FROM HOME.

    THE VERY THOUGHT BROUGHT,
    A TEAR TO MY EYE,
    I DROPPED TO MY KNEES,
    AND STARTED TO CRY.

    THE SOLDIER AWAKENED,
    AND I HEARD A ROUGH VOICE,
    "SANTA DON'T CRY,
    THIS LIFE IS MY CHOICE;

    I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM,
    I DON'T ASK FOR MORE,
    MY LIFE IS MY GOD,
    MY COUNTRY, MY CORPS.."

    THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER,
    AND DRIFTED TO SLEEP,
    I COULDN'T CONTROL IT,
    I CONTINUED TO WEEP.

    I KEPT WATCH FOR HOURS,
    SO SILENT AND STILL,
    AND WE BOTH SHIVERED,
    FROM THE COLD NIGHT'S CHILL.

    I DID NOT WANT TO LEAVE,
    ON THAT COLD, DARK, NIGHT,
    THIS GUARDIAN OF HONOR,
    SO WILLING TO FIGHT.

    THEN THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER,
    WITH A VOICE SOFT AND PURE,
    WHISPERED, "CARRY ON SANTA,
    IT'S CHRISTMAS DAY, ALL IS SECURE."

    ONE LOOK AT MY WATCH,
    AND I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT.
    "MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIEND,
    AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT."

    Merry Christmas All.

    [​IMG]
     
  2. vikingBerserker

    vikingBerserker Well-Known Member

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    I never get tired of reading that, thanks for posting!
     
  3. Lucky13

    Lucky13 Forum Mascot

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  4. Wayne Little

    Wayne Little Well-Known Member

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    Top stuff Vic!
     
  5. Gnomey

    Gnomey World Travelling Doctor
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    Merry Christmas Vic!!
     
  6. mikewint

    mikewint Well-Known Member

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    Thanks Vic, and a very Merry Christmas. Now are you(pl) ready for my version? Too late, here it is:
    Twas the night before Christmas and Santa’s a wreck…
    How to live in a world that’s politically correct?
    His workers no longer would answer to “Elves”.
    “Vertically Challenged” they were calling themselves.
    And labor conditions at the north pole
    Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.
    Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
    Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.
    And equal employment had made it quite clear
    That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
    So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
    Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!
    The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
    The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.
    And people had started to call for the cops
    When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops.
    Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
    His fur trimmed red suit was called “Unenlightened.”
    And to show you the strangeness of life’s ebbs and flows,
    Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose
    And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation,
    Demanding millions in over-due compensation.
    So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
    Who suddenly said she’d enough of this life,
    Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
    Demanding from now on her title was Ms.
    And as for the gifts, why, he’d ne’er had a notion
    That making a choice could cause so much commotion.
    Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
    Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.
    Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
    Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot.
    Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
    Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys.
    Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
    Nothing that’s warlike or non-pacific.
    No candy or sweets…they were bad for the tooth.
    Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.
    And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
    Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.
    For they raised the hackles of those psychological
    Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.
    No baseball, no football…someone could get hurt;
    Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
    Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;
    And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
    So Santa just stood there, disheveled, perplexed;
    He just could not figure out what to do next.
    He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
    you’ve got to be careful with that word today.
    His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
    Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.
    Something special was needed, a gift that he might
    Give to all without angering the left or the right.
    A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
    Each group of people, every religion;
    Every ethnicity, every hue,
    Everyone, everywhere…even you.
    So here is that gift, it’s price beyond worth…
    “May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth.”
     
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