post here your civil/military flying funnies please

[Jack_Hill]

Hi all.
Funnies, anecdotes welcomed !
I begin : flying a Robin if i remember well.
My brother's'wife at the commands, my brother, Mom and I as passengers.
Mom : "Oh, Anne, what a gentle touchdown, did not feel anything, you are so touchy my daughter !"
Anne : "thank you France (my Mom is called France), but now prepare for, cause we're still airborne".
Belves airport if i remember well.

 

[Night Fighter Nut]

I seem to remember some military jokes made about what the pilot would write up about a plane (squawks) and what the mechanic would right up to show what corrections were made. I know many of you have probably heard these.

Pilot: Dead bugs on windshield
Mech: Live bugs on order

Pilot: Engine number 2 missing
Mech: Engine number 2 found after brief search

Pilot: Equipment doesn't work in O.F.F. mode
Mech: Duh.

 

[evangilder]

Student pilot circling a field, hopelessly lost:
"Airfield with plane overhead, identify yourself".