Quotes and Jokes
- Thread starter v2
- Start date
Ad: This forum contains affiliate links to products on Amazon and eBay. More information in Terms and rules
fubar57
General
Robert Porter
Senior Master Sergeant
Old Wizard
2nd Lieutenant
God gave us the brain to work out problems. However, we use it to create more problems.
A wealthy hospital benefactor was being shown around the hospital.
During her tour, she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating furiously.
"Oh my GOD!" screamed the woman. "That's disgraceful! Why is he doing that?"
The doctor who was leading the tour calmly explained.
"I'm very sorry that you were exposed to that, but this man has a serious condition where his testicles rapidly fill with semen, and if he doesn't do that at least five times a day, he'll be in extreme pain and his testicles could easily rupture."
"Oh, well, in that case, I guess it's okay," said the woman...
As they passed by the next room, they saw a male patient lying in bed while a nurse performed oral sex on him.
Again, the woman screamed, "Oh my GOD! How can THAT be justified?"
Again the doctor spoke very calmly: "Same Illness, better health plan."
What's in your wallet??
During her tour, she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating furiously.
"Oh my GOD!" screamed the woman. "That's disgraceful! Why is he doing that?"
The doctor who was leading the tour calmly explained.
"I'm very sorry that you were exposed to that, but this man has a serious condition where his testicles rapidly fill with semen, and if he doesn't do that at least five times a day, he'll be in extreme pain and his testicles could easily rupture."
"Oh, well, in that case, I guess it's okay," said the woman...
As they passed by the next room, they saw a male patient lying in bed while a nurse performed oral sex on him.
Again, the woman screamed, "Oh my GOD! How can THAT be justified?"
Again the doctor spoke very calmly: "Same Illness, better health plan."
What's in your wallet??
Old Wizard
2nd Lieutenant
at6
1st Sergeant
With all of the crap calls I keep getting from sales people to scammers plus others, I've decided to change my phone message to the following. "Thank you for calling Cactus in the butt. If this is a sales call, we have no money so you would have to accept a cactus in the butt. If you are seeking donations, we still have no money but will gladly give you a cactus in the butt. All others leave you name, phone number, and a related message and we will seek to return your call. Once again, thank you for calling Cactus in the butt."
Robert Porter
Senior Master Sergeant
Old Wizard
2nd Lieutenant
at6
1st Sergeant
As I was sitting at a red light, the guy in the car next to me was eating Salmon eggs. When I asked what he was doing he said,"I'm waiting with baited breath."
