Quotes and Jokes (31 Viewers)

[Wayne Little]

 

[gumbyk]

Get this." said the English bloke to his mates, "Last night while I was
down the pub with you guys, a burglar broke into my house.
"Did he get anything?" his mates asked.
"yeah, a broken jaw, six teeth knocked out, and a pair of broken nuts.

The wife thought it was me coming home drunk."

 

[vikingBerserker]

 

[Wurger]

Watch your wife !

 

[kyle]

lol

 

[Wayne Little]

 

[v2]

 

[Gnomey]

 

[vikingBerserker]

LMAO!

 

[Wayne Little]

 

[michaelmaltby]

...

 

[Wurger]

 

[michaelmaltby]

....

 

[vikingBerserker]

Hey, it's the new Russian Salute!

 

[Geedee]

CONFESSION

OOPS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jimmy received the following text from his neighbour:

"I am so sorry Jimmy, I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess...I have been tapping your wife, day and night when you're not around.
In fact, more than you...I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse.
I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't happen again."

Pete, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, grabbed his shotgun, and without a word, shot his wife and killed her.

A few moments later, a second text came in:

Damn autocorrect. I meant "wifi", not "wife" Sorry!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Gnomey]

 

[vikingBerserker]

 

[Wayne Little]

Oops!

 

[michaelmaltby]

...

 

[razor1uk]

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dErAZL1Hr8

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5DnZXCBkIQ