Quotes and Jokes (3 Viewers)

[Wayne Little]

 

[Wurger]

 

[vikingBerserker]

 

[Wayne Little]

The day before Father's Day, Mary Murhpy took her three-year-old son, Paddy, to the Easons to pick out a card for his Da. Inside, she showed him the cards and asked him to pick one.

Paddy was picking up one card after another, opening them up and quickly shoving them back into slots. "Paddy, what are ya doing?" Mary asked. "Haven't you found a nice card for your Da yet?"

"No," he replied. "I'm looking for one with money in it."

 

[Crimea_River]

 

[vikingBerserker]

 

[Wurger]

 

[Gnomey]

 

[Old Wizard]

 

[Wurger]

 

[Wayne Little]

 

[vikingBerserker]

LMAO

 

[gumbyk]

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!" That won him the top prize for the best toast of the night.
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best toast of the night." She said, "Aye, John, what was your toast?" John Said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life sitting in church beside me wife." "Oh, that is very nice indeed, John," Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's toasting buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize, the other night, with a toast about you, Mary."
She said, "Aye and I was a bit surprised myself! You know, he's only been there twice. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come".

 

[michaelmaltby]

Politically incorrect, hilarious:


View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eqLB8wyrE_A

 

[Gnomey]

 

[vikingBerserker]

 

[Wayne Little]

 

[Wurger]

 

[GrauGeist]

Saw this, this morning and had a good laugh:

This happened to an Englishman in France, who was totally drunk.

The French policeman stops his car and asks the gentleman if he has been drinking. With great difficulty, the Englishman admits that he has been drinking all day, that his daughter got married in the morning to a Frenchman, that he drank champagne and a few bottles of wine at the reception and quite a few glasses of malt thereafter.

Quite upset, the policeman proceeds to administer a breath-test and asks the Englishman if he knows that under French law why he is going to be arrested.

The Englishman answers with humor: no Sir, I do not! But while we're asking questions, were you aware that this is a British car, and my Wife is driving...on the other side??

 

[Wurger]