"Steenkolen Engels" or mistakes Dutch people make in English

[Marcel]

Everyone who don't have English as their first language will make hilarious mistakes, like Dunglish. In Dutch we call this "steenkolen" Engels, or "coal" English after the people who shoveled coal in the Rotterdam harbour. Below some of the funny mistakes you could hear Dutch people make, I will try to explain what they really mean behind it:

I always get my sin (I always get what I want)
The cables are completely in the war (The cables are all tangled)
You are not good snick (You're crazy)
I f#ck horses (I breed horses)
I have you in the holes (I'll keep an eye on you)
There is telephone for you ( You have a phone call)
I made it out with her (I broke up with her)
He overdrives always (He is always exaggerating)


Dutch politicians in international politics:

Dutch prime minister Gebrandy when welcoming Churchill in the town of Delft:
"I hate you welcome in this town where all the Oranges are buried."

Prime minister "Van Agt:
"I stand my little man"

Prime minister Den Uyl:
"We Dutch are a people of undertakers"

When Churchill was in Delft he said to Gerbrandy: "Spring is in the air" and Gerbrandy answered: "Why should I?" (It sounded like the Dunglish: "Spring eens in de air" which can be interpreted as "Jump up in the air").

Ending with a nice poet in Dunglish:
A hot headed Drent in Ter Aple
who always ran too hard from staple
forsplintered his plate
when the waitress was late
and gave her a lell with his laple.

A terrible infant called Peter
sprenkled his bed with a gheeter.
His father got woost,
took hold of a knoost
and gave him a pack on his meter

 

[Capt. Vick]

Funny stuff Marcel! Thanks for posting!

 

[Readie]

I' told that Dutch is one of the hardest languages to learn Marcel.
Mind you, my kids learnt Chinese and I learnt Latin....unsuccessfully.

 

[tomo pauk]

How about this butchering of English language, by a Croatian politician sent to Brussels:


View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5orzjNKvIq4

No worries, the 'Gangnam style' remix is already made along these lines.
Our former PM said to the US president who came to visit Croatia: Welcome to Croatia, welcome to America. ???

 

[Gnomey]

Funny stuff!

 

[vikingBerserker]

 

[Marcel]

I' told that Dutch is one of the hardest languages to learn Marcel.
Mind you, my kids learnt Chinese and I learnt Latin....unsuccessfully.

I think Chinese is in a league of it's own. I don't believe Dutch is as difficult as that. I'm not sure Dutch is really more difficult than other languages. Sure we have a lot of exceptions on rules, which complicates things, but the gramar is not as difficult as fi German.

 

[Readie]

, but the gramar is not as difficult as fi German.

Ah yes, I am out the door down the road going...

There is another joke too...but, I am too polite to post it

 

[yulzari]

Would that my Dutch was as good as these bad examples of English. It is the pronunciation that is difficult for English speakers (and I once had a Flemish girlfriend) whilst German pronunciation is easier, even though Dutch is closer to English that German is.

Where I live in France I have several Dutch neighbours and many English ones. One of my Dutch friends went back to the Netherlands to visit and was asked how her French was coming along. She replied not very well but my English is much improved.

 

[Njaco]

I don't want nobody packing my meter!

 

[Readie]

I don't want nobody packing my meter!

'Indeed Chris'.... he said whistling and walking away

 

[bobbysocks]

I don't want nobody packing my meter!

hmmm so if you were to sit would that mean you have a "parking meter"???

 

[Marcel]

I think only a Dutchman understands what the two poets are about.