Big Bird. I'm softspoken, but tend to frighten young children. I secretly have befriended bums and homeless pedophiles who live in garbage cans. I tend to have imaginary friends who speak slow, are morbidly obese and wander aimlessly through town wishing everyone well.
You are part Sylvester Stallone. You eat lightning and you crap thunder. You may be the underdog in many cases, but nothing stops you. Not even old age! Passion and heart are what counts in this world.
You are part Chuck Norris. You fight for truth and justice with a custom truck and a never-ending supply of roundhouse kicks to the face! At the peak of your career you had your own cartoon, but what you'll be remembered for is a never ending supply of internet one-liners.