Winners from the Washington Post.

Discussion in 'OFF-Topic / Misc.' started by Becca, Jan 21, 2008.

  1. Becca

    Becca Member

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    Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
    You need five minutes to get through the lists below, basically because each word deserves to be savored.
    The winners are:

    1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
    2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
    3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
    4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
    5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
    6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
    7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
    8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
    9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
    10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
    11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
    12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
    13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
    14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
    15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
    16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
    17. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.




    The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary,alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
    Here are this year's winners:

    1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating.The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
    2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
    3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
    4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very,very high.
    5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
    6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
    7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.
    8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
    9. Karmageddon (n): its like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right?And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
    10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
    11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.
    12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
    13. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
    16. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.


    AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE!!!

    17.Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an as*hole.

    :lol: CLASSIC! IMPO.
     
  2. Becca

    Becca Member

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    OH, and it seems i'm an ignorant teet. Can some wonderful individual fix my bolding blunder?? :D thank you OH so much.
     
  3. FLYBOYJ

    FLYBOYJ "THE GREAT GAZOO"
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  4. ccheese

    ccheese Member In Perpetuity
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    Good ones.... I think #3 is absolutely correct... Ever buy a house ?

    Charles
     
  5. Njaco

    Njaco The Pop-Tart Whisperer
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  6. Becca

    Becca Member

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    FLYBOYJ...FTW!! :">

    Sarchasm is my second favorite.
     
  7. wilbur1

    wilbur1 Active Member

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  8. FLYBOYJ

    FLYBOYJ "THE GREAT GAZOO"
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    Helicopter - parents who sent their kids off to college and then visit them every weekend and "hover" around them.....
     
  9. Bucksnort101

    Bucksnort101 Well-Known Member

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    I've got to remember the Ignoranus one. I can use that one on several people I know and that are such stupid a$$holios they won't even know I'm disrespecting them.
     
  10. Erich

    Erich the old Sage
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    Becca, ignorant teet ? oh my [​IMG]

    Bozone - USA's poli's running for pres
     
  11. Screaming Eagle

    Screaming Eagle Active Member

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  12. Wayne Little

    Wayne Little Well-Known Member

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