WWII JOKES

Discussion in 'WW2 General' started by B-17engineer, Feb 16, 2008.

  1. B-17engineer

    B-17engineer Active Member

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    A plane with german paratroopers above Greece.

    The instructor guides every single parachutist to the door and pushes him out.

    "Come on , come on , come on !" "We dont have time to mess around !"

    "Out with you cowards!" "Come on ! The next one ! go go go!"

    But one of them resists to jump by all means. He kicks punches and screams, tries to stem his legs against the doorframe.

    "Out with you !" "We have no time for cowards !"

    At last, the instructor gives him a kick and he flies out of the door...

    The remaining parachutists start to laugh..

    "You think that was funny or what ?"

    "Funny ? , yes indeed sir.....that was the pilot"
    Then this one....

    Guy: "Father, during the war I allowed a Jewish refugee to live in my attic"
    Father: "Well, I do not see anythign wrong with that. You helped a poor soul survive the war"
    Guy: "But Father, I collected rent from for every week that he stayed"
    Father: "Well, that is not a good deed, but it was for a good cause, so that is fine."
    Guy: "... but Father.... should I tell him the war is over?"

    ALSO....
    The leutnant says to the feldwebel :

    "That guy over there is pretty good"

    "Yes indeed, but i have a feeling that we should better check his personal background"

    "Why ?"

    "After every shot he carefully removes his fingerprints from the rifle"


    SHARE YOURS!
     
  2. Wurger

    Wurger Siggy Master
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  3. Njaco

    Njaco The Pop-Tart Whisperer
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  4. Konigstiger205

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    The one with the paratroopers was great :lol: :lol:
     
  5. Wayne Little

    Wayne Little Well-Known Member

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    Yeah very good,:lol: :lol:
     
  6. B-17engineer

    B-17engineer Active Member

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  7. orion549

    orion549 Member

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    Just watched Memphis Belle last night, here's a pretty good joke from that (may not be exactly as told in the movie):

    A British fighter pilot got downed over German occupied airspace and was captured by the Nazis on the ground. He was beaten up pretty bad in the dogfight and parachute landing, and they had to amputate his leg, so he begged them "Please, if you have to take my leg, can you drop it over my country next time you send a bombing mission?"

    The Nazis figured there was no harm in it and the leg was dropped in the next raid.

    A week later, his other leg succumbed to his injuries and had to be amputated, and again, he asked his captors to drop in over England on the next raid, and again they obliged.

    The next week his arm succumbed to injuries and it was amputated. Again, he asked the German guards to have it dropped over England on the next raid. The German barked at him "Nein!"

    The POW was shocked, "Why not? You've done it before!"

    "Because," they guard said, "We think you're trying to escape..."
     
  8. wilbur1

    wilbur1 Active Member

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    You got it right orion. great jokes guys:lol: :lol:
     
  9. model299

    model299 Member

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    Hitler and Göring are standing on top of Berlin's radio tower. Hitler says he wants to do something to cheer up the people of Berlin. "Why don't you just jump?" suggests Göring...
     
  10. Wurger

    Wurger Siggy Master
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  11. syscom3

    syscom3 Pacific Historian

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    The best jokes were from Bill Mauldin.


    "Able Fox Five to Able Fox. I got a target but ya gotta be patient."
     

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  12. wilbur1

    wilbur1 Active Member

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    I think i got lost on that one sys
     
  13. Snautzer

    Snautzer Member

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    More Bill Mauldin. After all these years they are still funny.

    Bill Mauldin
     
  14. Wurger

    Wurger Siggy Master
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    During the battle of Stalingrad an alarmed soviet soldier is barging into his commander's shelter screaming ..
    Comrade Commander.... the three Nazi German tanks attacking.
    Take it easy man.. said the commandant. Take the two hand grenades form the shelf there and destroy tanks. Go....
    Yes Sir... shouted the private clicking his heels.
    The commander was listening to the battle sounds.The firece strugglig lasted about 30 minutes.
    Then the tired, dirty, panting and bleeding from a nose private got back to the dugout. His uniform was torn and his helmet was bent.The soldier's rifle lost its bayonet. The guy had a black eye and avulsed a couple of teeth.
    His commandant looked at him and asked calmly ... did you annihilate these tanks?
    Yes Sir .. reported back the soldier.
    So.. OK. Give the two grenades back... ordered the commander.
     
  15. Gnomey

    Gnomey World Travelling Doctor
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