Ok...a couple of (probably apocryphal) C-130 stories that were well known at RAF Lyneham in the 1990s.
A Herc was carrying a bunch of squaddies to some far-flung corner of the world. Part way through the flight, the aircraft captain emerges from the cockpit, carefully unfurling two long pieces of string behind him. One piece of string has a blue label attached, the other has a red label. Identifying a very young-looking soldier, he walks over and says "Hey...I need to go to the loo. Will you make sure the aircraft stays straight and level while I'm doing my business?" He duly puts the "red" string in the soldier's left hand, and the "blue" string in his right hand and says "Ok...if you see that the aircraft is starting to turn to the left, just pull on the blue string. If it starts turning to the right, pull on the red string. Got it?" The soldier solemnly declares that he understands the instructions, and off goes the captain to the "can" down the back of the aircraft. After a few seconds, the aircraft starts turning gently to the left. The soldier pulls on the blue string and, sure enough, the aircraft starts flying straight again. The soldier smiles and looks around at his mates with a smug expression. A few seconds later, the aircraft starts turning to the right so the soldier pulls the red string...and nothing happens. The aircraft continues to bank to the right. The soldier starts fiercely tugging on the blue string but to no avail. The captain emerges from the "can" visibly furious. "Do you have ANY idea how hard it is to take a crap with the aircraft rolling around like that? What on earth do you think you're doing?" The soldier mumbles something about pulling the red string but nothing happened. "Show me!" demands the captain, closely followed by "No, no, no. You're doing it all wrong. Here, let me show you." The captain then takes back the strings, pulls on the red one and. sure enough. the aircraft returns to straight and level flight. "You're bluddy useless!" declares the captain, who then carefully re-wraps the strings and returns to the cockpit. The poor soldier remained blissfully ignorant that he was being screwed with, given that the co-pilot was in the cockpit the entire time.
Similar story...a Herc with a bunch of squaddies ("walk-on baggage") down the back for a short trip within the UK. The Loadmaster walks around the cargo bay completing his checks, ending near the ramp at the rear. Above the ramp is a small emergency access hatch that provides access to the top of the fuselage, just next to the fin. Finding the nearest soldier, he says "Listen, I've got to check something up top. Do NOT let the pilot take off while I'm still up there." Up climbs the Loadmaster, at which point the engines start....and the soldier gets nervous. The aircraft starts to taxy and the soldier is even more nervous...but he's petrified of getting up and interrupting the flight deck. In due course, the aircraft takes off, by which time the poor soldier was visibly shaking. After a little while, the aircraft comes in to land at the destination, taxies to the apron and the engines shut down. Immediately, the top hatch by the cargo door is flung open and the Loadmaster jumps down. His hands and feet are white as sheets, his hair is standing vertically on end, and he's visibly shaking. "YOU F****** IDIOT!!!" he yells at the poor squaddie. "Didn't I tell you to not let them take off with me up top?" I'm F****** FREEZING!!!!!" He then promptly opens the cargo door and kicks all the squaddies out, cursing each of them out in turn. What happened on this fateful flight? After climbing onto the fuselage, the Loadmaster walked along the top to the cockpit, where the Nav let him in. He sat on the rumble bench the entire flight, carefully applying white make-up to his hands and face, and liberally dosing his head with gel and hairspray to make his hair stand on end.
Sometimes I think Herc crews had too much time on their hands!