Thumpalumpacus
Colonel
The anonymous Englishman who managed to lodge a 2-inch-wide World War II anti-tank shell inside his rectum back in 2021 has been unseated.
The phrase "shell shocked" took on new meaning over the weekend when a 24-year-old Frenchman hobbled into Rangueil Hospital in Toulouse, France, complaining of unspecified pain.
Rushed into surgery, the doctors soon discovered that the source of the "unspecified pain" turned out to be an 8-inch long 37mm brass-and copper shell used by the Imperial German Army in the late stages of the Great War.
According to the French newspaper La Dépêche, the medical staff in Toulouse are "accustomed to treating victims injured during sexual games," but are understandably unused to dislodging centuries-old [sic] munitions from rectums.
"He was in a state of extreme discomfort, having inserted a large object up his rectum," said an investigating source, stating the obvious.
The artillery shell, unexploded at the time of the removal, resulted in the evacuation of the hospital, with an explosive ordnance disposal squad called to the hospital to ensure the munition was not in danger of detonating within the individual's personal hurt locker.
France is currently edging the British in its centuries-old rivalry, as this is not the first time a Frenchman has married munition with derrière.
In 2022, an 88-year-old patient visited Hospital Sainte Musse in Toulon stunning doctors when they removed what turned out to be a WWI-era French munition measuring 8 inches long and more than 2 inches wide — from the man's rectum. Surgeons were forced to cut open his abdomen in order to remove the hefty relic due to the shell's considerably above-average size.
"An apple, a mango, or even a can of shaving foam, we are used to finding unusual objects inserted where they shouldn't be," one doctor reported. "But a shell? Never!"
www.marinecorpstimes.com
I've heard of "explosive orgasms" but this is freakin' ridiculous.
The phrase "shell shocked" took on new meaning over the weekend when a 24-year-old Frenchman hobbled into Rangueil Hospital in Toulouse, France, complaining of unspecified pain.
Rushed into surgery, the doctors soon discovered that the source of the "unspecified pain" turned out to be an 8-inch long 37mm brass-and copper shell used by the Imperial German Army in the late stages of the Great War.
According to the French newspaper La Dépêche, the medical staff in Toulouse are "accustomed to treating victims injured during sexual games," but are understandably unused to dislodging centuries-old [sic] munitions from rectums.
"He was in a state of extreme discomfort, having inserted a large object up his rectum," said an investigating source, stating the obvious.
The artillery shell, unexploded at the time of the removal, resulted in the evacuation of the hospital, with an explosive ordnance disposal squad called to the hospital to ensure the munition was not in danger of detonating within the individual's personal hurt locker.
France is currently edging the British in its centuries-old rivalry, as this is not the first time a Frenchman has married munition with derrière.
In 2022, an 88-year-old patient visited Hospital Sainte Musse in Toulon stunning doctors when they removed what turned out to be a WWI-era French munition measuring 8 inches long and more than 2 inches wide — from the man's rectum. Surgeons were forced to cut open his abdomen in order to remove the hefty relic due to the shell's considerably above-average size.
"An apple, a mango, or even a can of shaving foam, we are used to finding unusual objects inserted where they shouldn't be," one doctor reported. "But a shell? Never!"
Frenchman hospitalized after inserting WWI munition up his rear
The shell, unexploded at the time of removal, resulted in the evacuation of the hospital, with an EOD squad called to clear the area.
www.marinecorpstimes.com
I've heard of "explosive orgasms" but this is freakin' ridiculous.
