Officially Approved Nonsense

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Timmy P3B FCO said:
Here are some I remember,

Go and pick up some prop wash from the line shack (P-3B and P-3C days)

Go and order a vortex Generator (the little tab of metal riveted to wing to help air flow, people would be sent to W/C 220 electrical shop for a generator) (A-4M Days)

and the always favorite, go to line shop and get 100' of "flight line"

Timmy
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Timmy - what squadron were you in? I was in VP-65, 96-02
 
FLYBOYJ said:
When I was in A&P school we had a guy convinced that after he bought his brand new Craftsman 100+ piece tool box that they sold him left handed wrenches.
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USAF firefighters were noted for our practical jokes. One of my sergeants told about his tour at Ramstein AB where he had a rookie rescue driver trying to push-start a chainsaw "in case it didn't start conventionally".
 
Q-screwdriver.jpg
 
FLYBOYJ said:
Yes, I think they decommissioned in 2004. SELRES, worked the engine shop (AD)
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While in VP-92, we did a Detachment in early 2000's to qualify on some Underwater Range from Pt Mugu. We took off, flew out into Pacific and then "prosecuted" a target sub (most likely a uav sled) It starting with an underwater search for a target, dropping multiple sono buoys and the Aviation Warfare rates (AW's. they who are trained in listening to underwater frequencies) providing analysis, finding the target using passive/active buoys, using MAD to confirm target (at 200') and may of dropped a practice torpedo (memory is not what is should be). We ended up with a qualification called "Quick Strike" . If you could find, prosecute the target and launch torpedo within weapons range in a set time. BTW, The body surfing on Pt Mugu coastline was outstanding (best memory of that Detachment)

We did abort on one take off, while holding short of runway, I looked up on the left hand horizontal stabilizer from my window in the back of the bus ;) and saw some type of stuff on leading edge, called it out and we taxi back in to figure out what had happen (did we hit something?) It turned out some hawk had caught and consumed a rabbit on the hor stab and left the carcass on the leading edge of the stab.

Timmy
ATC USNR-RET
VP-92
 
MIflyer said:
(Insert Heavy Theatrical Sigh Here) Where does this crap come from? It is one thing to see a video on the Discovery Channel with some messed up commentary (e.g., the P-80 was called "P" rather than "F" because the first models were Prototypes").
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My fav:

A while back there was a series about air combat that used computer footage to re-enact various famous battles, along with interviews with the people involved. Likely Discovery or History.

In one episode they were talking to a Korea vet who explained how all of their aircraft were pushing up against the compressibility limits, the implication being that they were all forced to fly at about the same speed.

Voiceover: SPEED WINS!

(Insert Heavy Theatrical Sigh Here)
 
GrauGeist said:
So I suspect in Martin's case, he knew that tall-tales sell.
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Was it his book about the B-17 where Zeros shoot one up and it flies home and the crew give up counting at 1000 holes? It was the book that ended with the author flying across the Atlantic in one as part of a meeting in the 1970s or 80s.

I can no longer recall the exact math, but I was in uni when I read that book and used it in a physics class as an example of a common formula for determining random distributions of trajectories (not Monte Carlo). The result was that every crew member had an average of 10 holes (IIRC it was more) and the chance of even one crew member not being shot could not be represented on a calculator because it had too many zeros.

The same book had a story about a B-17 being shot up over ETO and only making it back to land because they skipped the entire plane off the English Channel using the ball turret like a bouncing bomb. Oh, really?
 
Maury Markowitz said:
My fav:

A while back there was a series about air combat that used computer footage to re-enact various famous battles, along with interviews with the people involved. Likely Discovery or History.
Click to expand...
Almost any documentary on Discovery features video clips of aircraft that have nothing to do with the aircraft documentary. For example, the piece on Canadian air ace George Beurling has a clip of a Morane Saulnier 406 diving on him. Battle of Britain docs feature Bf19F, Gs and Ks, and Fw190s.

I just watched something on YouTube about Hawker Hurricanes that explained it was armed with .303" machine guns, while the video shows 20mm Hispano Mark_II cannons. It also had a clip of a Fairey Fulmar. They explained that the Hurricane was developed from the Hawker Fury, accompanied by a clip of a Hawker Fury Centaurus engined, carrier based fighter.

I accept that something over half the people making videos on YouTube have not the faintest clue of what they are talking about. You would think that Discovey could hire an editor to tell them that no, the RAF did not have Spitfire_21s in the Battle of Britain, and that it would have been the Turkey Shoot of Britain if they had.
 
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Last nights news on two different channels had almost identical footage, if not identical, of the RAAF Globemasters leaving to take aid to Tonga. In both cases about 75% of the footage was Hercs. Given both were almost identical did the real amatuer air force provide the footage?
 
Timmy P3B FCO said:
While in VP-92, we did a Detachment in early 2000's to qualify on some Underwater Range from Pt Mugu. We took off, flew out into Pacific and then "prosecuted" a target sub (most likely a uav sled) It starting with an underwater search for a target, dropping multiple sono buoys and the Aviation Warfare rates (AW's. they who are trained in listening to underwater frequencies) providing analysis, finding the target using passive/active buoys, using MAD to confirm target (at 200') and may of dropped a practice torpedo (memory is not what is should be). We ended up with a qualification called "Quick Strike" . If you could find, prosecute the target and launch torpedo within weapons range in a set time. BTW, The body surfing on Pt Mugu coastline was outstanding (best memory of that Detachment)

We did abort on one take off, while holding short of runway, I looked up on the left hand horizontal stabilizer from my window in the back of the bus ;) and saw some type of stuff on leading edge, called it out and we taxi back in to figure out what had happen (did we hit something?) It turned out some hawk had caught and consumed a rabbit on the hor stab and left the carcass on the leading edge of the stab.

Timmy
ATC USNR-RET
VP-92
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Very cool Chief and glad to have you around and great to hear old P-3 stories!

Mugu's adjoining beach has some of the best surfing in SoCal. I knew guys who remained in the reserves just so they can go surfing on their drill weekends before or after work.

I turned wrenches the whole time I was there, did the reserve thing later in life (APG) and has aspirations of becoming an FE. I wanted to fast track and go active duty but the unit wanted me to go through their program which would have taken 2x as long. I built P-3s when I was at Lockheed so I knew the aircraft pretty well, so I think they wanted to keep me around.

Lots birds in the local area, we've had a few bird strikes when I was at Mugu, one took out an E-2 and it bellied in while doing touch and goes, crew was OK.

Again, hope you stick around and join in on the forum madness!
 
Maury Markowitz said:
Was it his book about the B-17 where Zeros shoot one up and it flies home and the crew give up counting at 1000 holes?
Click to expand...
At a 1978 airshow at our local airport there was a C123 from some reserve outfit downcountry that had 1017 marked and numbered bullet hole repairs on her carcass. Her name was "Patches", she had nose art of a Raggedy Ann doll below her cockpit, and was the LOUDEST airplane I think I've ever heard. She got airborne in an incredibly short distance and climbed in a tight spiral within the airport boundaries to cruising altitude.
I've heard through the grapevine she now resides at the AF Museum in Dayton.
 
Maury Markowitz said:
My fav:

A while back there was a series about air combat that used computer footage to re-enact various famous battles, along with interviews with the people involved. Likely Discovery or History.
Click to expand...
Are you thinking of Dogfights? Dogfights features all sorts of air combat and cool CGI graphics. It features almost no historical context. I doubt they understand the aircraft. As documentaries go, it is somewhat less deranged and idiotic than Deadliest Warrior, and Ancient Aliens.

Does anybody care to speculate which WWII aircraft was the work of ancient aliens"?
 
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