In my opinion there are two sides to every coin and your POV often aligns with the side or condition you happen to most sypathetic with - rather than the rationale behind the act. Killing kids is rarely as much fun as it is cracked up to be.
If you believe in God and have the convictions of Christianity (in purest form) or Buddhist or a multitude of others, then you foreswear violence in all forms.
For the multitude, the POV should focus on the tactical or strategic objectives that would (seem) to justify collateral damage ( the "Oh well, sorry about that - but ya gotta break some egges to make an omelette" when the technology available is not adequate to prevent civilian deaths)
I fit as an imperfect example of number one and an unrepenitent example of number two in the context of Allied destruction delivered in WWII. I make no second guesses anymore under the principle of "what coulda happened, did happen"
For Dresden, we were asked by Stalin (to Roosevelt, Roosevelt to George Marshall to Hap Arnold to Tooey Spatz - to comply. Spaatz objected, Arnold over rode objection after duly noting it. Spaatz saluted and gave the orders.) to bomb the central train station to ensure a disruption in rail logistics to and from the city.
This was accomplished and a lot of women and children burned to death. I wish Hitler and the Gestapo had decided to vacation in central Dresden but I am informed that did not happen.
Question, should civilians that support a political agenda also sign up to the risks of declaring war? If so that takes care of Germans and Brits and Japanese and Russians, etc and the two American civilians killed in Oregon from a balloon bomb. Doesn't quite address the kids. So, there will possibly be an accounting for the Christians and Buddhists that slipped in their ultimate moral obligations as well as the casual 'drive by' sinners. Presumably the Conscientious Objectors will skate punishment.
Am I sorry it (Dresden) happened - yes. The war was too close to the end. Were Soviet and Brit and US and Canadian trooper lives saved as a result? Don't know but that would mitigate my answer.
Am I sorry Hiroshima and Nagasaki happened - no... because I trully believe millions would have died in that bloodbath - Soviet, US, Brit, Canadians, Indians, Aussies, new Zealander's and many, many Japanese women and children in addition to adults in the forthcoming invasion. I was in Japan as a young kid and I have many vivid memories of burned out cities - even in 1948.
So many Japanese were killed in just the conventional fire bombing. General LeMay left few sticks of wood joined to another in every city the size of Chattanooga and above.
Unfortunately, every war seems to not be a duke out between the leaders that want power over other people but the entire rank and file of the population somehow gets dragged into it.
Next Constitutional amendment I want to see is; "IF you're gonna declare war (or police action) or whatever, 50% of all of Congress must be the first under arms as drawn by blind ballot, and to refuse to go is to step down from Congress. The process will continue through replacement re-elections until the billet is filled and the war may proceed". Seal Team training to follow...
Leader should lead at the front. If enough politicians get killed early, there should be an opportunity to pause and re-think how badly one or both wish to continue.
If you merely need to respond to nuclear attack, this rule is suspended and President may authorize retaliation.