Well....that didn't take long to shovel. The snow is now up to the top of my "40 Below" Sorels...
Hey I remember snow from my old Ill-Noise days:
August 12:
Moved to our new home in Illinois. It is so beautiful here. The forests are so majestic. Can hardly wait to see snow covering them.
October 14: Southern Illinois is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves are turned all the colors and shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through the beautiful forested hills and saw some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly they are the most wonderful animal on earth. This must be paradise. I love it here.
November 11:
Deer season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such a gorgeous creature. Hope it will snow soon. I love it here.
December 8 - 6:00 PM
It started to snow.
The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven.
It looked like a Grandma Moses Print.
So romantic we felt like newlyweds again.
I love snow!
December 9
We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape.
What a fantastic sight!
Can there be a lovelier place in the whole world?
Moving here was the best idea I've ever had!
Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again.
I did both our driveway and the sidewalks.
This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again.
What a perfect life!
December 11
The sun has melted all our lovely snow.
Such a disappointment!
My neighbor tells me not to worry- we'll definitely have a white Christmas.
No snow on Christmas would be awful!
Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again
I don't think that's possible.
Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.
December 12
Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night.
The temperature dropped to -20.
The cold makes everything sparkle so.
The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks.
This is the life!
The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again.
I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way.
I wish l wouldn't huff and puff so.
December 14
20 inches forecast.
Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer and on the way back a damned deer ran in front of the new Blazer and I hit it. Did about $3,000 damage. Those frigging beasts should be killed. Wish the hunters had killed them all last November.
Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels.
Stocked the freezer.
The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out.
I think that's silly.
We aren't in Alaska, after all.
December 16
Ice storm this morning.
Fell on my bass on the ice in the driveway putting down salt.
Hurt like hell.
The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.
Don't know why they don't use more salt on the roads to melt the frigging ice.
December 17
Still way below freezing.
Roads are too icy to go anywhere.
Electricity was off for 5 hours.
I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm.
Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her.
Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her.
God I hate it when she's right.
I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.
December 20
Electricity's back on, but had another 14 inches of the damn stuff last night.
More shoveling!
Took all day.
The damn snowplow came by twice.
Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey.
I think they're lying.
Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out.
Might have another shipment in March.
I think they're lying.
Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me.
I think he's lying.
December 22
Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white sh*t fell today, and it's so cold, it probably won't melt till August.
Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to whiz.
By the time I got undressed, whizzed and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel.
Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter, but he says he's too busy. I think the asshole is lying.
December 23
Only 2 inches of snow today
And it warmed up to 0.
The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning.
What is she, nuts?!!
Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago?
She says she did but I think she's lying.
December 24
6 inches - Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel.
Thought I was having a heart attack.
If I ever catch the son of a b*tch who drives that snow plow, I'll drag him through the snow by his b*lls and beat him to death with my broken shovel.
I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been!
Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the damn snowplow.
December 25
Merry freaking Christmas!
20 more inches of the damn slop tonight -Snowed in.
The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil.
God, I hate the snow!
Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel.
The wife says I have a bad attitude.
I think she's an idiot.
If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.
December 26
Still snowed in.
Why the hell did I ever move here?
It was all HER idea.
She's really getting on my nerves.
December 27
Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.
December 30
Warmed up to above -20.
Still snowed in. Can't go anywhere, car's stuck in a mountain of white sh*t. The weatherman says to expect another 10 inches of the sh*t again tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow 10 inches is?
The B*TCH is driving me crazy!!!
January 4
10 more inches.
Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in.
That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?
January 10
More of that white sh*t fell last night. I've got blisters on my hands from shoveling. I think the snow-plow hides around the curve and waits until I'm done shoveling the driveway. Basshole!
January 18
Roof caved in.
I beat up the snow plow driver, and now he is suing me for a million dollars, not only the beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his bass.
The wife went home to her mother.
Nine more inches predicted.
January 30
More snow last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work. I am exhausted from shoveling. Frigging snow-plow.
Febuary 15
Took the car to the garage in town. Would you believe the thing is rusting out from all that frigging salt they put all over the roads.
March 1
I set fire to what's left of the house.
No more shoveling.
March 10:
Moved to Arkansas. I can't imagine why anyone in their right mind would ever live in that god-forsaken state of Illinois.