Nonskimmer
Captain
My sister e-mailed me this. It refers to the United States, but most of it just as easily pertains to any nation that enjoys democracy.
I had one thought running through my head as I read it: Right on, brother!
And it's funny.
We know that the current state of affairs in our great nation have many
civilians up in arms and excited to join the military. For those of you
who can't join, you can still lend a hand. Here are a few of the areas
where we would like your assistance:
(1) The next time you see an adult talking (or wearing a hat) during the
playing of the National Anthem---kick their ass.
(2) When you witness, firsthand, someone burning the American Flag in
protest---kick their ass.
(3) Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the highest
amount of respect to all veterans. If you see anyone doing otherwise,
quietly pull them aside and explain how these veterans fought for the
very freedom they bask in every second. Enlighten them on the many
sacrifices these veterans made to make this Nation great. Then hold them
down while a disabled veteran kicks their ass.
(4) (GUYS) If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you
were. Wearing battle dress uniforms (BDUs), telling others that you used
to be "Special Forces," and collecting GI Joe memorabilia, might have
been okay when you were seven years old. Now, it will only make you look
stupid and get your ass kicked.
(5) Next time you come across an Air Force member, do not ask them, "Do
you fly a jet?" Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot. Such ignorance
deserves an ass-kicking (children are exempt).
(6) If you witness someone calling the US Coast Guard 'nonmilitary,'
inform them of their mistake---and kick their ass.
(7) Next time Old Glory (the US flag) prances by during a parade, get on
your damn feet and pay homage to her by placing your hand over your
heart. Quietly thank the military member or veteran lucky enough to be
carrying her---of course, failure to do either of those could earn you a
severe ass-kicking.
8. Don't try to discuss politics with a military member or a veteran.
We are Americans, and we all bleed the same, regardless of our party
affiliation. Our Chain of Command is to include our Commander-In-Chief
(CinC). The President (for those who didn't know) is our CinC regardless
of political party. We have no inside track on what happens inside those
big important buildings where all those representatives meet. All we
know is that when those civilian representatives screw up the situation,
they call upon the military to go straighten it out. If you keep asking
us the same stupid questions repeatedly, you will get your ass kicked!
(9) 'Your mama wears combat boots' never made sense to me---stop saying
it! If she did, she would most likely be a vet and therefore, could kick
your ass!
(10) Bin Laden and the Taliban are not Communists, so stop saying 'Let's
go kill those Commies!' And stop asking us where he is! Crystal balls
are not standard issue in the military. That reminds me---if you see
anyone calling those damn psychic phone numbers, let me know, so I can
go kick their ass.
(11) 'Flyboy' (Air Force), 'Jarhead' (Marines), 'Grunt' (Army), 'Squid'
(Navy), 'Puddle Pirate' (Coast Guard), etc., are terms of endearment_
we_ use describing_ each other_. Unless you are a service member or vet,
you have not earned the right to use them. That could get your ass kicked.
(12) Last, but not least, whether or not you become a member of the
military, support our troops and their families. Every Thanksgiving and
religious holiday that you enjoy with family and friends, please
remember that there are literally thousands of sailors and troops far
from home wishing they could be with their families. Thank God for our
military and the sacrifices they make every day. Without them, our
country would get its ass kicked.
"It is the soldier, not the reporter who has given us the freedom of the
press." "It is the soldier, not the poet, who has given us the freedom
of speech." "It is the soldier, not the campus organizer, who gives us
the freedom to demonstrate." "It is the soldier who salutes the flag,
who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who
allows the protester to burn the flag."
Please pass this on so I won't have to kick your ass!*
*
"If you can read this, thank a teacher." "If you are reading it in
English, thank a veteran."
I had one thought running through my head as I read it: Right on, brother!
And it's funny.
We know that the current state of affairs in our great nation have many
civilians up in arms and excited to join the military. For those of you
who can't join, you can still lend a hand. Here are a few of the areas
where we would like your assistance:
(1) The next time you see an adult talking (or wearing a hat) during the
playing of the National Anthem---kick their ass.
(2) When you witness, firsthand, someone burning the American Flag in
protest---kick their ass.
(3) Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the highest
amount of respect to all veterans. If you see anyone doing otherwise,
quietly pull them aside and explain how these veterans fought for the
very freedom they bask in every second. Enlighten them on the many
sacrifices these veterans made to make this Nation great. Then hold them
down while a disabled veteran kicks their ass.
(4) (GUYS) If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you
were. Wearing battle dress uniforms (BDUs), telling others that you used
to be "Special Forces," and collecting GI Joe memorabilia, might have
been okay when you were seven years old. Now, it will only make you look
stupid and get your ass kicked.
(5) Next time you come across an Air Force member, do not ask them, "Do
you fly a jet?" Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot. Such ignorance
deserves an ass-kicking (children are exempt).
(6) If you witness someone calling the US Coast Guard 'nonmilitary,'
inform them of their mistake---and kick their ass.
(7) Next time Old Glory (the US flag) prances by during a parade, get on
your damn feet and pay homage to her by placing your hand over your
heart. Quietly thank the military member or veteran lucky enough to be
carrying her---of course, failure to do either of those could earn you a
severe ass-kicking.
8. Don't try to discuss politics with a military member or a veteran.
We are Americans, and we all bleed the same, regardless of our party
affiliation. Our Chain of Command is to include our Commander-In-Chief
(CinC). The President (for those who didn't know) is our CinC regardless
of political party. We have no inside track on what happens inside those
big important buildings where all those representatives meet. All we
know is that when those civilian representatives screw up the situation,
they call upon the military to go straighten it out. If you keep asking
us the same stupid questions repeatedly, you will get your ass kicked!
(9) 'Your mama wears combat boots' never made sense to me---stop saying
it! If she did, she would most likely be a vet and therefore, could kick
your ass!
(10) Bin Laden and the Taliban are not Communists, so stop saying 'Let's
go kill those Commies!' And stop asking us where he is! Crystal balls
are not standard issue in the military. That reminds me---if you see
anyone calling those damn psychic phone numbers, let me know, so I can
go kick their ass.
(11) 'Flyboy' (Air Force), 'Jarhead' (Marines), 'Grunt' (Army), 'Squid'
(Navy), 'Puddle Pirate' (Coast Guard), etc., are terms of endearment_
we_ use describing_ each other_. Unless you are a service member or vet,
you have not earned the right to use them. That could get your ass kicked.
(12) Last, but not least, whether or not you become a member of the
military, support our troops and their families. Every Thanksgiving and
religious holiday that you enjoy with family and friends, please
remember that there are literally thousands of sailors and troops far
from home wishing they could be with their families. Thank God for our
military and the sacrifices they make every day. Without them, our
country would get its ass kicked.
"It is the soldier, not the reporter who has given us the freedom of the
press." "It is the soldier, not the poet, who has given us the freedom
of speech." "It is the soldier, not the campus organizer, who gives us
the freedom to demonstrate." "It is the soldier who salutes the flag,
who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who
allows the protester to burn the flag."
Please pass this on so I won't have to kick your ass!*
*"If you can read this, thank a teacher." "If you are reading it in
English, thank a veteran."
