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2nd Lieutenant
Nov 3, 2004
Praga Mater Urbium
These are short writings from various restrooms. Donated by Baron, Colorado, USA:

Friends don't let friends take home ugly men
---Women's restroom, Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE

Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" its "Hi, how are you?"
---Rest stop off Route 81, West Virginia

No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit.
---Men's Room, Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, North Carolina

A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.
---Women's restroom, Dick's Last Resort, Dallas, Texas

Express Lane: Five beers or less ---Sign over one of the urinals
---Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills, CA

You're too good for him.
---Sign over mirror in Women's restroom, Ed Debevics, Beverly Hills, CA

No wonder you always go home alone.
---Sign over mirror in Men's restroom, Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills, CA

Don't throw cigarettes into the pisoar, I take them out with the same hand I drown the beer with
---Pub U vystřelenýho oka, Prague, Czech Rep.

Don't drink water, the fish fuck there
---U bubeníčků Pub, Prague, Czech Rep.
A woman is only a grace around the cunt
---Toilettes on Bratislava Main Railway Station, Slovakia

In 8 years the school gave me less then that girl in one night
---Unknown Czech Pub

He loved the work only platonic, he never really pretended to touch it
---Unknown Czech Pub

The military service is a reversed form of masturbation, when a dick chases a man
---Unknown Military Base Toilette

Dear comrades, you hold it tight in your hand only here
---Hotel Sport, Velké Meziříčí, Czechoslovakia circa 1977 (rough communism)

Suddenly the walkpath raised and hit me into the face
------Unknown Czech Pub
I'm blind and deaf, please take me to the bar
---Unknown Czech Pub

I'll go to restaurate myself to a restaurant
---Sud Club, Prague, CZ


---Hospoda u Vlastičky (Czech Pub), Toronto, Canada


What would you rather put aside? Wine or women. It matters on the volume/vintage.
---Hospoda u Vlastičky (Czech Pub), Toronto, Canada

Don't throw cigarettes into the pisoar, we too don't piss into your ashtrays
---Pub near Ostrov u Tisy, Slovakia

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