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Yes that's in that way...
Also you may add a couple of additional points to the section about beginning of the war. The info there can be who else declared the war and when ...
Also I would change the order of the second and third points in your first section...
Additionally , the point of the number of the BEF soldiers should be moved to the section about the BEF...
I have edited it for you , see below..
Austria Hungary annexed Bosnia
The Bosnian Serbs wanted Bosnia to be independent of Austria Hungary.
Gavrilo Princip - Bosnian Serb
Archduke Franz Ferdinand – Heir to Austria Hungary Empire
Franz Ferdinand and his wife went to inspect Army – 28 June 1914
Gavrilo Princip killed Franz Ferdinand and his wife in Sarajevo
(here two or three points more )
Battle plan designed by Alfred Von Shlieffen – 1905
Shlieffen plan was intended to avoid a two front war by defeating France in less than 6 weeks
Germany planned on attacking France via Belgium
Alfred Von Shlieffen died – 1913
Shlieffen plan used in 1914
August 2 1914, Germany demanded access into Belgium and being refused
August 3 1914, Germany attacked Belgium
August 4 1914, Britain declared war on Germany
The BEF – 80,000 men
The first battle of the BEF – 23 August 1914 , Belgium, Mons
The BEF stopped the Germans advance and caused a lot of casualties on Germans.
Creating the legend of the Angels of Mons
German army advance through Belgium to France
The retreating French Army and BEF reached the Marne River.
Gen. Gallieni sent more French troops to River Marne by taxi
The battle of Marne - 5-9 September 1914
The French Army and BEF stopped the German advancing further than River Marne
.. If Austria Hungary declared war on Serbia on 28 July 1914, Russia helped Serbia by attacking Austria Hungary, is that right?
.. then Austria Hungary asked Germany to help the fight against Russia.
..Can i do a Question and answer on the alliances to remember who fought who?