Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic?

Discussion in 'OFF-Topic / Misc.' started by syscom3, Jun 26, 2007.

  1. syscom3

    syscom3 Pacific Historian

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    Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic?

    As you study for exams, remember its not the quantity it's the quantity. And remember there is no substitute for pure unadulterated bull

    Dr. Schambaugh, of the University of Oklahoma School of Chemical Engineering, Final Exam question for May of 1997. Dr. Schambaugh is known for asking questions such as, "why do airplanes fly?" on his final exams. His one and only final exam question in May 1997 for his Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer II class was: "Is hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof."

    Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

    "First, We postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave.

    Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, then you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and souls go to hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially.

    Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant. Two options exist:

    1. If hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose.
    2. If hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over.

    So which is it? If we accept the quote given to me by Theresa Manyan during Freshman year, "that it will be a cold night in hell before I sleep with you" and take into account the fact that I still have NOT succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then Option 2 cannot be true...Thus, hell is exothermic."

    The student, Tim Graham, got the only A.

    Inbox Humor: Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic?
     
  2. Heinz

    Heinz Active Member

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    haha, had my chemistry exam 2 weeks ago, could have been handy.
     
  3. mosquitoman

    mosquitoman Active Member

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    Nice one!
    Proof that women are evil:
    Women require both time and money so therefore women=timexmoney
    time is money so women=money squared
    Because money is the root of all evil:

    women=evil
     
  4. DerAdlerIstGelandet

    DerAdlerIstGelandet Der Crew Chief
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    :lol:

    I wish I had had a teacher like that.
     
  5. Gnomey

    Gnomey World Travelling Doctor
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    Would certainly make exams interesting :lol: Would be funny to no doubt.
     
  6. SoD Stitch

    SoD Stitch Banned

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    I heard a similar tale about a philosophy professor who, for the final exam, wrote the question "Why?" on the board. The only student who passed was the one who turned in a paper that said, "Why not?".
     
  7. Maestro

    Maestro Active Member

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    Hmmm... If I had earned $10 every times a girl said that to me, I would be rich, now.
     
  8. 102first_hussars

    102first_hussars Active Member

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    Ive never had that problem :rolleyes:
     
  9. DerAdlerIstGelandet

    DerAdlerIstGelandet Der Crew Chief
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    You have never been laid...
     
  10. Maestro

    Maestro Active Member

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    Well, I think he is talking to you, Hussars... :lol:
     
  11. Maharg

    Maharg Member

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    I reckon an answer like Tim Graham's should have recieved an A+. :)
     
  12. 102first_hussars

    102first_hussars Active Member

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    Yeah okay, im a thirty five year old virgin :rolleyes:

    If that were the case I would have slowly bled myself to death
     
  13. DerAdlerIstGelandet

    DerAdlerIstGelandet Der Crew Chief
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    Its okay man, there are plenty of 30 year old virgins out there. You dont have to be ashamed... we wont laugh at you....I promise....

    :lol:

    I leid!!!!
     
  14. 102first_hussars

    102first_hussars Active Member

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    Dont worry im not

    Atleast i didnt ride black c0cks for 6YEARS :lol:
     
  15. DerAdlerIstGelandet

    DerAdlerIstGelandet Der Crew Chief
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    No offense but that really was not funny...
     
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