A man's barbecue

Discussion in 'OFF-Topic / Misc.' started by Colin1, May 7, 2010.

  1. Colin1

    Colin1 Active Member

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    Aussies can disregard this advice as it is woven into their DNA

    When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

    Routine...

    (1) The woman buys the food.
    (2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables and makes dessert.
    (3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
    (4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three-metre exclusion zone, where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.

    Here comes the important part:
    (5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

    More routine...
    (6) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.
    (7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat

    Important again:
    (8 ) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

    More routine...
    (9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces and brings them to the table.

    (10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

    And most important of all:
    (11) Everyone praises the man and thanks him for his cooking efforts.

    (12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed 'her night off ' and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.
     

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  2. Bucksnort101

    Bucksnort101 Well-Known Member

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    #2 has me confused, who the heck needs salad, veggies, and desert at a BBQ;) That's almost like putting beans in Chili!!! Meat is what it's all about.
     
  3. conkerking

    conkerking Member

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    #3 conkerking, May 7, 2010
    Last edited: May 7, 2010
    Very true. My son has realised that there is one basic rule to cooking. Cooking inside: women. Cooking outside: men.

    He went to a barbie at his cricket club last year and refused a burger because a woman had cooked it. Absolutely scandalous.
     
  4. Colin1

    Colin1 Active Member

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    Technically
    she can still be keel-hauled for that
     
  5. Bucksnort101

    Bucksnort101 Well-Known Member

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    I guess I'm doing things wrong, a friend and I are going to smoke/BBQ a big batch of Park Spare Ribs this weekend. We are going to the market to get the meat, then prepare it for the smoker, and smoke it as well. Can't trust a woman to do this kind of work;) And I wonder why I've never been married;)
    Only Veggies I will be handling are the Jalepenos that with be filled with cheese and little sausages, wrapped in bacon, a toothpick jammed through the whole works to keep it all together. Who needs anythign else, other than the beer to keep us hydrated through the 6-7 hour cook;)
     
  6. Njaco

    Njaco The Pop-Tart Whisperer
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    My mouth just started watering. So, Buck, when and where? Save a seat for me!!
     
  7. conkerking

    conkerking Member

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    Damn that sounds good... I'm there, man... I'll bring the beer!
     
  8. Bucksnort101

    Bucksnort101 Well-Known Member

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    Where = North Branch, Minnesota in my buddies, fathers back yard. You just need to drive to North Branch and start sniffing for BBQ smoke. If you find us you're welcome to some BBQ.

    When = Tomorrow, Saturday May 8th, 2010.

    If you can't make it I may torment you all with some pictures on Monday;)
     
  9. GrauGeist

    GrauGeist Well-Known Member

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    Hey guys, you get the feeling that this was written by a woman?

    I mean, seriously...that "list" just doesn't exist in my world and is just too orderly...

    Now to be fair, items number 5 and 8 are dead-on...

    I come from a BBQ culture, and have a pretty good idea of how to down to business with a BBQ ...LOL
     
  10. vikingBerserker

    vikingBerserker Well-Known Member

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  11. phatzo

    phatzo Member

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    I hear ya, but I also agree with #12
     
  12. Lucky13

    Lucky13 Forum Mascot

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    I was invited to a stay over and a BBQ at one of my best and closest friends while in Sweden, cool I thought......I did the BBQ! :lol:
     
  13. bobbysocks

    bobbysocks Well-Known Member

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    you did the BBQ. why else do you think you were invited?
     
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