Lutefisk, the stink when it cooks removes even the most stubborn wallpaper from the walls of your kitchen. That was always the joke when I was growing up, but I think there is some truth to it.
For shame, Chris!
I understand some "schadenfreude" every now and then, but you are just going too far with the "mustard" thing.
I suggest you turn in your Bacon card, unless you disavow any affiliation to mustard, with relation to Bacon, now.
Er ..non.
Dijon is not strong enough. Only the bowel clearing, eye watering, devil may care, do you mind if I don't strong yellow English mustard is worthy of the title 'mustard'....