Funny Persian ...

[pbehn]

I felt French exam.

Instead, I learnt Russian, Romanian and Hungarian.

I was so bad at languages I was not allowed to take an exam, however things are different when you actually live in a country. I worked in Russia for a while in a town called Vyksa, my German co workers told their children they were in Moscow because Vyksa as pronounced in Russian in an obscene word in German .

 

[ARTESH]

I was so bad at languages I was not allowed to take an exam, however things are different when you actually live in a country. I worked in Russia for a while in a town called Vyksa, my German co workers told their children they were in Moscow because Vyksa as pronounced in Russian in an obscene word in German .

to be honest, I never travelled outside Iran.

One, I didn't have passport.

Two, I don't have enough money.

But I saw many foreigners in Iran and asked them many things.

Learning Russian and Hungarian, was a great point for me.

I am only person who talk Hungarian in Army.

For some reasons, we have lots of Hungarian guests.

But about Romanian, I really loved this language when I was a child.

 

[ARTESH]

Shab khosh,

Good night.

 

[ARTESH]

Some Persian messages from Telegram:

1-

یه جایی هست توی زندگی که که دلت گرفته ولی مجبوری بخندی و شاد باشی، به میگن اوج بدبختی

2-

سخت ترین کار دنیا، چشم پوشی از کسی هست که به خاطر اون، چشماتو رو همه چی بستی

3-

ما شمارتونو سیو می کنیم که وقتی زنگ زدید، بدونیم کی هستین، جواب ندیم. وگرنه اونایی که خودمون باید بهشون زنگ بزنیم رو که شمارشونو حفظیم.

4-

خدا دایناسورارو آفرید تا سرش گرم شه. دید به اندازه کافی، وحشی و خونریز نیستن، منقرضشون کرد، انسان رو آفرید.

5-
ما تو نسخه آزمایشی زندگی هستیم، همونطور که می دونید، نسخه واقعی پولی هست.

6-

ربطی نداره سنت چه قدره، متولد چه دهه ای هستی، چه کاره ای، شما هر وقت بری لوازم التحریر بخری، همین که وارد مغازه میشی، برای چند لحظه، حالت خوب میشه.

7-

افسانه ها می گن: وقتی شب خوابت نمی بره، به خاطر اینه که تو، تو رویای یه نفر دیگه، بیداری.

 

[ARTESH]

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe - Wikipedia

what is your Version?

ده بیست سه پونزده هزار و شصت و شونزده هرکی میگی شونزده نیست هیفده هیجده نوزده بیست

Dah , bist, se, poonzdah, hezaroshast o shoonzdah, har ki mige shoonzdah nist, hifda, hijda, noozdah, bist

10, 20, 3, 15, 1060 and 16, who is saying this is not 16? 17, 18, 19, 20

 

[ARTESH]

چو بخت عرب بر عجم چیره شد / همی بخت ساسانیان تیره شد

بر آمد ز شاهان جهان رو قفیز/ نهان شد زر و گشت پیدا پشیز

دگرگونه شد چرخ گردون بچهر/ ز آزادگان پاک ببرید مهر

به ایرانیان زار و گریان شدم/ز ساسانیان نیز بریان شدم

دریغ آن سر و تاج و آن مهر وداد /که خواهد شدن تخت شاهی بباد

کز این پس شکست آید از تازیان/ ستاره نگردد مگر بر زیان

چو با تخت منبر برابر شود/همه نام بوبکر و عمر شود

تبه گردد این رنج های دراز/نشیبی دراز است پیشش فراز

نه تخت و نه دیهیم بینی نه شهر/ ز اختر همه تازیان راست بهر

ز پیمان بگردند و ز راستی/گرامی شود گژی و کاستی

رباید همی این از آن آن از این/ز نفرین ندانند باز آفرین

نهانی بتر ز آشکارا شود /دل مردمان سنگ خارا شود

شود بنده ی بی هنر شهریار /نژاد و بزرگی نیاید بکار

به گیتی نماند کسی را وفا / روان و زبان ها شود پر جفا

از ایران و از ترک و از تازیان / نژادی پدید آید اند میان

نه دهقان همه ترک و تازی بود / سخن ها بکردار بازی بود

نه جشن و نه رامش نه کوهر نه نام /بکوشش زهر گونه سازند دام

بریزند خون از پی خواسته /شود روز گار بد آراسته

زیان کسان از پی سود خویش / بجویند و دین اندر آرند پیش

ز پیشی و بیشی ندارند هوش/خورش نان کشکین و پشمینه پوش

چو بسیار از این داستان بگذرد /کسی سوی آزادگان ننگرد​

 

[ARTESH]

Q: what does "سر قبر ننت" mean ?

A: literally, it means "On your mother's grave !!!

Q: is it a swear word ?

A: depends on situation. but generally, Yes.

Q: when is it used?

A: when someone asking you : where were you? / where are you? / where are you going ? and you don't like to answer.

 

[Marcel]

That's ideed "funny farsi"

 

[ARTESH]

That's ideed "funny farsi"

The real problem is "Translation"

there is no Translations for most of Persian "phrases" like that.

for example, "Khasteh Nabashid" literally means "Don't be Tired" ... but in English, it is translated as "Good Job" or "Well Done".

another funny "Phrase" is "Tank you Very Nafarbar" as you can see, it's a mix of both Persian and English, Tank as "Thank" and Nafarbar is Persian for APC.

as you can guess, it's popular among Soldiers.

 

[ARTESH]

Here is a Persian Joke:

میگن چرا درس نمیخونی



الان عرض میکنم خدمتتون:

یه سال 365 روزه . . .!

بگو خب . .

52 روزش جمعه است، میمونه 313 روز . .

بگو خب . .

حداقل 50 روز تعطیلات تابستانی داریم، میمونه 263 روز . .

بگو خب

میانگین هر روز 8 ساعت میخوابیم . .

این میشه 122 روز و باقی میمونه 141 روز . .!

بگو خب

هر روز یک ساعت برا خودمون وقت بزاریم . .

این میشه 15 روز و باقی میمونه 126 روز . .!!

روزی 2 ساعت خورد و خوراک این میشه 30 روز و باقی میمونه 96 روز

میانگین روزی 4 ساعت گشت و گذار با دوستان

ساعتهای خالی بین کلاسها و رفت و آمد مسیر مدرسه و خونه

این میشه 60 روز و باقی میمونه 36 روز . .!!

بگو خب .

31 روز تعطیلات رسمی سالانه، میمونه 5 روز

خوب عزیزم ما هم آدمیم سالی 4 روزم مریض میشیم . .

میمونه یه روز .

چه تصادفی اون یه روزم روز تولدم . .!!

تموم شد و رفت!


امیدوارم همه قانع شده باشن

They asked me: why you do not study?

I'm telling you now:

One year is 365 days. . .

Say So . . .

It has 52 Fridays, 313 days left. . .

Say So . . .

We have 50 days of summer holidays, it lasts 263 days. . .

Say So . . .

We sleep 8 hours every day. . .

It will be 122 days and would remain 141 days. . .

Say So . . .

Take an hour for ourselves every day. .

It will be 15 days and it will remain 126 days. . !!

It's been eaten for 2 hours and the feed lasts 30 days and it lasts 96 days

Average daily 4 hours of sightseeing with friends

Empty clocks between classes and commute to school and home

It will be 60 days and it will remain 36 days. . !!

Say So .

31 official anniversary holiday is 5 days

Well, darling, we're the one who gets sick four days old. .

I'll be a day.

What a chance she was one day my birthday. . !!

Finished and went!


I hope everyone is convinced

 

[Shinpachi]

Good joke ARTESH. Superb

****************************
Mathematically, my quick calculation tells -

Busy days:
Friday 52
Summer holiday 50 but this includes 7 Fridays. So, 43
Official anniversary holiday 31
Sick 4
Birthday 1
____________________________________________________
Sub total 131

Sleeping 122 but this includes above 131. So 78
For ourselves 15 but this also includes above 131. So 9
Meal 30 but this also includes 131. So 18
Walking 60 and this includes 131. So 36
_____________________________________________________
Sub total 141

Grand total 272

Just for your references.
Hope you would not have any bad feeling about this

 

[ARTESH]

Good joke ARTESH. Superb

Hope you would not have any bad feeling about this

hi, thanks.

No, I don't have bad filling.

But I think I missed something.

I check it when i arrive home.

 

[ARTESH]

+ بگو روسیه
- روسیه
+ شورتت طوسیه

/////

+ Begoo russie
- russie
+ shortet toosie

/////

+ say Russia
- Russia
+ your underwear is gray

 

[ARTESH]

Only in Persian, you can have a very basic conversation using words originated from 4 different languages !!!

+ همه چی اوکیه انشالله ؟
- مرسی، ممنون

/////

+ hameh chi okeye inshallah ?
- merci, mamnoon.

/////

+ is everything ok?
- fine, thanks.

/////

Hameh chi = everything, Persian

Ok = ok, English

Inshallah = if god wants, Arabic

Merci = thank you, French

Mamnoon = Thank you, Arabic

I wish you good luck !!!

 

[ARTESH]

A joke for our military veterans as well as current soldiers ...

Iranian Army Weekend menu:

Breakfast: غذای وحدت = unity food
Launch: خورشت وحشت = fear stew
Dinner: دمپایی نفرت = hatred sandal

Thank you all those who served your country.

 

[ARTESH]

Quote of day ...

"Our century is not a seashell,
it is sand ...

It is not poem,
it is epic ..."​

Karapet "Karo" Derderian
1925 - 2007
Armeno-Iranian writer and poet

In Persian:

قرن ما صدف نیست،
ماسه است ...

غزل نیست،
حماسه است ...

 

[Shinpachi]

We say it like -

The flowing river never stops and yet the water never stays the same.
Foam floats upon the pools, scattering, re-forming, never lingering long.
So it is with man and all his dwelling places here on earth.

 

[ARTESH]

You know you're a Persian when..
1. A visa is not a credit card.
2. You refer to your dad's friends as Amu
3. You have an endless supply of pistachios, dates, and pumpkin seeds..
4. Your parents say you're becoming Americanized anytime you get into trouble.
5. You curse at your teachers or strangers in Farsi.
6. You can spot another Persian a mile away and they have spotted you because they keep staring.
7. After a family meal, the women fight to death over who should wash the dishes while the men sit on their behinds and discuss politics, waiting for their coffee/tea.
8. Your parents want you to become a doctor or engineer.
9.You use your forehead and eyebrow(s) to point something out.
10. Your mother yells at the top of her lungs to call you to dinner even if you're in the next room.
11. You have at least thirty cousins.
12. You arrive one or two hours late to a party and think it's normal.
13. You are standing next to the largest suitcases at the Airport
14. You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house.
15. You say bye 17 times on the phone.
16. When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes, you discover they know one of your uncles back home.
17. Your parents don't realize phone connections to foreign countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs when making long distance calls.
18. Your mother does everything for you if you are male.
19.You do all the housework and cooking if you are female.
20.Your relatives alone could populate a small city.
21. You still came back home to live with your parents after you graduate.
22. You teach Westerners swearwords in Farsi
23. You always say "open the light" instead of "turn the light on".
24. Your parents drink 6 cups of tea a day.
25. You get yelled at for talking when the NEWS is on.

 

[Shinpachi]

 

[ARTESH]

This time, we have a Persian Joke, Translated to French !!!

Une vertu du foin est:
Fortifiant pour les nerfs
C'était toujours une question pour moi, pourquoi l'âne est si indifférent en face des affaires..

تو خواص یونجه نوشته:
''تقویت کننده اعصاب''
همیشه برام سوال بود چرا الاغ اینقدر نسبت به مسائل بی تفاوته
​

Do you agree?