"Is it safe?"
The words rattled me back to conciousness. My eyes focused on what turned out to be a fluorescent ceiling light with the remains of dead bugs and a condom in the lamp. I slowly lifted my head and could see that I was laying on some type of gurney, in the middle of a large room, filled with people.
"Is it safe enough to move him?"
The person speaking was standing next to me, talking to some goofball who looked like he could suck an egg from a chicken. Looking around, I realized I was in an airport concourse. People were moving back and forth like ants at a picnic and a few were talking to some offical looking dudes that were taking notes on little clipboards. A grand parade of lifeless packaging. I sat up on the moving bed.
"The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only, there is no stopping in the red
zone." the intercom blared above the din.
I tried to gather myself together and watched the human traffic for a few seconds. I finally decided I had to strain the potatoes.
"Hey, bozo! Which way to the bathroom?" I said to Mr. Safe, who appeared to have the warm personal charm of a millipede.
'You can't go just yet, sir." he said without so much as a glance my way.
"The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only, there is no stopping in the red
zone." echoed down the concourse in a C3P0 voice.
"Why the hell not?" I said, "What the hell's going on and where am I?"
Lizard lips finally turned to face me.
"We're at Campbelltown Airport and before you go anywhere I'm sure someone in authority will be wanting to speak to you." he said, dryly. I watched as on old lady walked up to a skycap and asked, "Did we land or were we shot down?" and then as she was escorted away among the throng.
"Talk to me about what?"
"About what you saw on the wing." he shot back. "There's a lot of damage and a lot of questions."
I shook as a shiver ran down my arms. The air-conditioning had kicked on. I didn't want to relive the experience on the plane again and I wasn't about to spend a few hours going over it with some rent-a-bobbie looking for a promotion. I needed to get Lucky and end this trip.
"The red zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only, there is no stopping in the white
zone." droned on.
"Hey, listen," I said, "let me hit the head for a second. I'm about busting a gut here. Let me take a leak and I'll be right back."
Stephen Hawkings appeared to think it over for a second, looked over his shoulder twice then stared at me with the hardest face he could make. I thought he was pinching a loaf.
"Alright," he said, "But get back here in 2 minutes or I'm coming in and dragging you out."
"Great!" I said and slid off the gurney, clapping him on the shoulder. He looked like he needed a cue card to say "Huh?"
Above me another voice shouted, "NO! The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading and there is no stopping in the red zone."
I laughed to myself as I disappeared into the crowd. Pauley Shore would be funny again before he'd see me back! As I blended in with the crowd, I passed several large windows that looked out onto the tarmac. I could see them bringing in the plane. The area on the wing around the engine was torn up, like someone took a can-opener to the thing. Glad I was off that ride!
I burst through an Exit door and out into sunshine and the airport parking lot, thinking chaos, panic, and disorder...my work here was done. Now to find a toilet and get Lucky!