Groundhog Thread Part Deux - P-39 Fantasy and Fetish - The Never Ending Story (Mods take no responsibility for head against wall injuries sustained)

[special ed]

Or the rogue elephants:

Is it Horton?

 

[Shortround6]

Reminds me of a few old jokes.

Q; Why don't you walk though the jungle between 3 and 4 o:clock in the Afternoon?
A; The elephants are jumping out the trees.

Q; What is a pigmy?
A; Someone who through the jungle between 3 and 4 in the afternoon.


Hand is on coat.

 

[special ed]

Q: What is the black stuff between elephant's toes?

A: Slow natives

 

[Shortround6]

Q: What is the black stuff between elephant's toes?

A: Slow natives

we are showing our age

 

[WARSPITER]

Or the rogue elephants:

View attachment 825486

Is it Horton?

Reminds me of a poem my Grandmother used to quote.

"The Elephant is a lovely bird, it swings from bow to bow.
It makes it's nest in a rhubarb tree, and whistles like a cow."

 

[yulzari]

Elephants hide in cherry trees by painting their toenails red.
Elephants hide in custard by floating upside down and painting the soles of their feet yellow.
How do you tell if you have had elephants in your fridge? Footprints in the butter.
How do get four elephants in a car. Two in the front and two in the back. How do you get four giraffes in a car? You can't because the elephants are in it.
Why don't elephants eat penguins? Because they can't get the wrappers off.
Can I stop now?

 

[GregP]

A little-known variety ...

Instead of attacking with clawns, the prey gets wrapped up rapidly in an airborn trunk and whisked off to serve as lunch.

 

[Snautzer01]

Q: What is the black stuff between elephant's toes?

A: Slow natives

Start racing S Shortround6

 

[Escuadrilla Azul]

When the Europeans arrived on the Plains they found them well wooded and the Buffalo's used to roost in the trees which made them hard to hunt and a falling hazard. Whilst the selective breeding programme slowly reduced the wings it was taking too long so the answer was to clear the forest of the Plains which are bare to this day. This aided the breeding programme by exposing the ungainly winged Buffalo's to more predation. So today the Plains are open and the Buffalo's have lost their wings but we recall their ancient spreading wings in our restaurants.

Always willing to educate and explain the world.

The things that one learn here.

 

[buffnut453]

Elephants hide in cherry trees by painting their toenails red.
Elephants hide in custard by floating upside down and painting the soles of their feet yellow.
How do you tell if you have had elephants in your fridge? Footprints in the butter.
How do get four elephants in a car. Two in the front and two in the back. How do you get four giraffes in a car? You can't because the elephants are in it.
Why don't elephants eat penguins? Because they can't get the wrappers off.
Can I stop now?

Please do, there's a good chap!

 

[SaparotRob]

Why are elephants gray? So as not to be confused with bluebirds.

How do you get five elephants into a VW bug? Two in the front, two in the back, one in the glovebox.

How do you know there's an elephant in your car? You can smell the peanuts on its breath.

What did Jane say to Tarzan when she saw the elephants coming through the trees? "Here come the bluebirds!" Jane was colorblind.

 

[Thumpalumpacus]

Not a joke, just a comment: you can't fix what elephants do.

 

[WARSPITER]

Not a joke, just a comment: you can't fix what elephants do.

True. All you can do is get a wheelbarrow and shovel to clean it up (average is around 300 lbs a day so a big wheelbarrow).

 

[MiTasol]

Look on the bright side - a one day visit by an elephant and your garden manure supply for the year was delivered

 

[WARSPITER]

The manure savings may be offset by the cost of the archeological dig needed to find the garden again.

 

[MiTasol]

True

 

[special ed]

True. All you can do is get a wheelbarrow and shovel to clean it up (average is around 300 lbs a day so a big wheelbarrow).

Years back, a circus came to town and when closing, offered "ponderous pounds of pachyderm poo" free for gardeners.

 

[special ed]

Keep the dad jokes coming. I need a refresher. My grand daughter, not yet two, will soon begin to appreciate these, and when sent home, can regale her parents with these.
Grandpa's revenge.

 

[Greg Boeser]

My sister's favorite, when she was three:

Why did the farmer call his pig "Ink"?
Because it kept running out of the pen!

 

[Ivan1GFP]

The manure savings may be offset by the cost of the archeological dig needed to find the garden again.

Just have the elephants visit after the harvest.