Ladies and Gentlemen, I Present - The Unemployable

[amrit]

The problem with that lot is that they have no originality. At least this bloke is crazy in his own unique way:

Tiger man wants fur graft | Special reports | Guardian Unlimited

A San Diego computer programmer who has spent £100,000 on tattoos and plastic surgery to turn himself into a "tiger" wants a fur graft.

Dennis Smith is tattooed from head to toe with orange and black stripes and his teeth have been filed to needle point.

He has also had latex whiskers implanted and surgery to his lips so he has a permanent snarl. He now wants a surgeon to graft tiger fur on to his skin, like a perma-wig.

Mr Smith, who has changed his name by deed poll to Cat Man, said: "I have a collection of old tiger pelts from the days of hunting. I want these grafted on to me. It will cost another $100,000 but will be worth it.

"When I have the coat of a tiger, I feel I will have reached my goal in life."

His fingernails have been crafted into sharp talons while his hands have tattooed markings like a tiger's paws. He says he feels like a tiger.

The short back-and-sides he sported at the University Of California has been replaced with a long orange mane. He has also swapped his glasses for green contact lenses.

He holds down a £80,000-a-year computer programming job which enables him to fund the surgery, the Daily Record reports.

He admitted: "Of course people stare at me when I walk down the street but that's the effect I desire. For so long I have equated myself with the tiger that I decided to change myself into one.

"It's the real me. So many men cross-dress without their partners knowing, or dress up and play cowboys or civil war soldiers at weekends. Me, I'm a tiger all the time and I love it. I had my first tattoos done 20 years ago around my eyes and now my whole body is one pastiche of stripes and shading. I am really proud of it all."

 

[Clave]

.....





nope.. still can't get the speech part of my brain working...

 

[Parmigiano]

I would not like to have one of them in front of me in the security control line at the airport.
Goodness know how crazy the beeping machines will be and how long it would take before their clear it.
I'm pretty sure I will miss the flight.

But there is a positive side on everything: if they commit some crime all you need to lock them safely is a magneto tied to a wall, no need of expensive prisons.

 

[DerAdlerIstGelandet]

Well I have nothing against piercings. I myself had my nipples pierced and my tounge pierced before I joined the Army and I still have my ears pierced. These people however take it way to far and in my personal opinion are just plain stupid. They say they are trying to be original and make a statement but they are just being stupid.

 

[amrit]

I suppose, as with everything else, there are limits between personal expression and societal shock attempts. And if I remember correctly, the last chap with all the rings in his arms was going for or has the world record for piercings.

I too have some tattoos - styles and placement relatively "tasteful".

But things must be going too far if the US military have banned tattoos that cover more than a particular portion of their bodies.

BBC NEWS | World | Americas | US Marines prohibit large tattoos

 

[Matt308]

It's always those who pursue the extremes that ruins it for everybody else. Went and got a latte the other day. A young gal about 18 or so, VERY cute, made my coffee. The only problem was all I could think about is how of the only two jobs she could ever hope to get with her multiple eyebrow/nose/cheek piercings...only one involved yanking a coffee lever.

 

[Torch]

Latest I've seen on Denver tv is that they are putting implants under their skin on the tops of their heads to make them look like a budding devils, There's a club here that caters to these whack jobs,yeesh

 

[DerAdlerIstGelandet]

I agree Matt. My piercings when I had them were all in concealed places so that only people that I wanted would see them. The same is for my 6 tattoos (7th one soon). They are all concealed so as not to piss off employers or anything.

 

[FLYBOYJ]

I think some of the Bozos we recently kicked off here should consider some of this; maybe they could find a surgeon that could transform them into walking penises!

 

[DerAdlerIstGelandet]

 

[Matt308]

 

[trackend]

A few years ago we had a guy with all the iron work through his face sent down by personnel for on the job training he lasted less than 2 hours all our control equipment cubical's have exposed terminals and we told them that his face in the wrong place could crash a train.
It would be interesting to see the effect on some of those guys when placed on a mag lev track at least they would know which bits where ferrous or nonferrous (painful if your Prince Albert took off at 200kph and the rest stayed still tho)

 

[FLYBOYJ]

A few years ago we had a guy with all the iron work through his face sent down by personnel for on the job training he lasted less than 2 hours all our control equipment cubical's have exposed terminals and we told them that his face in the wrong place could crash a train.
It would be interesting to see the effect on some of those guys when placed on a mag lev track at least they would know which bits where ferrous or nonferrous (painful if your Prince Albert took off at 200kph and the rest stayed still tho)

 

[Matt308]

A few years ago we had a guy with all the iron work through his face sent down by personnel for on the job training he lasted less than 2 hours all our control equipment cubical's have exposed terminals and we told them that his face in the wrong place could crash a train.
It would be interesting to see the effect on some of those guys when placed on a mag lev track at least they would know which bits where ferrous or nonferrous (painful if your Prince Albert took off at 200kph and the rest stayed still tho)

.

 

[timshatz]

In a world where it is dog eat dog, get there firstest with the mostest, it is oddly comforting to look at pictures like these and know I will never have to worry about these guys be threatening in a competitive sense. Wherever I want to go, however I want to do it, I know I've got these clowns beat hands down.

 

[Matt308]

As I always tell my sons. Someone has to be at the bottom of the bell curve. For these people find nobility in cleaning toilets. And rightly so.

 

[syscom3]

As I always tell my sons. Someone has to be at the bottom of the bell curve. For these people find nobility in cleaning toilets. And rightly so.

Sounds like something the mayor of Los Angeles would say!

 

[Matt308]

Except the mayor would be demanding equal pay with the upper end of the bell curve.

 

[mkloby]

Except the mayor would be demanding equal pay with the upper end of the bell curve.

 

[Thorlifter]

uhh