Life is Tough but it's Tougher when you're Stupid

[mikewint]

I swear that I could not make this stuff up if I tried:

An Albuquerque woman is suing Samsung for $1.8 million after she required medical attention after inserting her cell phone inside her vagina and was unable to retrieve it for 96 hours.

Salma Briant, 39, claims her medical bills at the University of New Mexico Hospital amounted to $1,168,000 and that she has suffered from severe psychological distress because of the whole ordeal. Briant said she first inserted the cell phone inside her vagina as a dare from one of her friends but quickly realized that the phone would not come out.

Attorney Jim McAfee's claims his client was forced to undergo a cesarean section to remove the cell phone because of the atypical shape of her pelvis and had no insurance at the time. A Samsung spokesman said that they would not comment on this case at this moment but explained that an out-of-court settlement was still an option on the table.

"I wanted to see how it would feel to put my cell phone on vibration mode inside of me, just for fun, but it soon turned out to be a nightmare," she told Judge Andrew Peterson in tears.

"Samsung is definitely at fault here as they offer no warning about the dangers and potential risks during the insertion of their products inside their clients male or female body cavities or genitals" Salma Briant's lawyer, Jim McAfee said in court.

 

[michael rauls]

I swear that I could not make this stuff up if I tried:

An Albuquerque woman is suing Samsung for $1.8 million after she required medical attention after inserting her cell phone inside her vagina and was unable to retrieve it for 96 hours.

Salma Briant, 39, claims her medical bills at the University of New Mexico Hospital amounted to $1,168,000 and that she has suffered from severe psychological distress because of the whole ordeal. Briant said she first inserted the cell phone inside her vagina as a dare from one of her friends but quickly realized that the phone would not come out.

Attorney Jim McAfee's claims his client was forced to undergo a cesarean section to remove the cell phone because of the atypical shape of her pelvis and had no insurance at the time. A Samsung spokesman said that they would not comment on this case at this moment but explained that an out-of-court settlement was still an option on the table.

"I wanted to see how it would feel to put my cell phone on vibration mode inside of me, just for fun, but it soon turned out to be a nightmare," she told Judge Andrew Peterson in tears.

"Samsung is definitely at fault here as they offer no warning about the dangers and potential risks during the insertion of their products inside their clients male or female body cavities or genitals" Salma Briant's lawyer, Jim McAfee said in court.

 

[Wurger]

Unfortunately there are idiots still living among us. I would say the turkey should be disciplined for non-observance of security rules with device voltage.

 

[jetcal1]

Remember.....it's doesn't matter where you live,or the language you speak, they live among us

They procreate

And, they vote

 

[mikewint]

You know that Samsung will probably give her $50,000 or so just to go away

 

[Wurger]

Remember.....it's doesn't matter where you live,or the language you speak, they live among us

They procreate

And, they vote

That's true, unfortunately. My daughter says the the level of the intelligence on the Earth is constant , just the number of people changes only. I must agree.

 

[mikewint]

Yup, agreed Einstein is often credited with the following:
The Difference Between Stupidity and Genius Is That Genius Has Its Limits

Stories like the above are a sad comment on humanity and the origin of the following:
Warning label on a wheelbarrow:
NOT INTENDED FOR HIGHWAY USE

Warning label on a baby stroller:
REMOVE CHILD BEFORE FOLDING

Warning label on a thermometer:
ONCE USED RECTALLY THE THERMOMETER SHOULD NOT BE USED ORALLY

Warning label on Apple's website:
DO NOT EAT iPOD SHUFFLE

Warning label on a carpenter's electric drill
THIS PRODUCT IS NOT INTENDED AS A DENTAL DRILL

Warning label on a takeout coffee cup:
DO NOT POUR ON CROTCH AREA

Warning label on a jet ski:
NEVER USE A LIT MATCH OR FLAME TO CHECK FUEL LEVEL

Warning label on a bottle of dog medication:
MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS USE CARE WHEN OPERATING A CAR

Warning label on a dishwasher:
DO NOT ALLOW CHILDREN TO PLAY IN DISHWASHER

Warning label on a box of rat poison:
WARNING HAS BEEN SHOWN TO CAUSE CANCER IN LABORATORY MICE

Warning label on a "vanishing ink" marker:
SHOULD NOT BE USED TO SIGN CHECK OR ANY LEGAL DOCUMENT

Warning label on an iron-on shirt pattern:
DO NOT IRON WHILE WEARING SHIRT

Warning label on a Razor scooter:
WARNING: THIS PRODUCT MOVES WHEN USED

Warning label on a hair dryer:
DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING

Warning label on a package of fireplace logs:
CAUTION: RISK OF FIRE

Warning label on a brass fishing hook:
HARMFUL IF SWALLOWED

Warning label on a can of pepper spray:
MAY IRRITATE EYES

Warning label on a cartridge for a laser printer:
DO NOT EAT TONER

Warning label on a letter opener:
SAFETY GOGGLES RECOMMENDED

Warning label on a bar of soap:
USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP

Warning on a Jabra Drive 'N' Talk
NEVER OPERATE YOUR SPEAKER PHONE WHILE DRIVING

A warning label on the bar of a chainsaw
DO NOT HOLD THE WRONG END OF A CHAINSAW

Warning on a blow torch gas bottle
CONTENTS MAT CATCH FIRE

Warning printed on an egg carton
THIS PRODUCT MAY CONTAIN EGGS

Warning on MDW Outdoor Group's fox/bobcat urine powder
NOT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION

Warning label on the bottom of Kellogg's cereal bowl
ALWAYS USE THIS PRODUCT WITH ADULT SUPERVISION

Warning label on Frankel's Costume Superman costumes
WARNING: THIS COSTUME DOES NOT ENABLE FLIGHT OR SUPER STRENGTH

Warning label on Scrubbing Bubbles Fresh Brush
DO NOT USE FOR PERSONAL HYGIENE

Warning printed on boxes of Midol Menstrual Complete
ASK A DOCTOR BEFORE USE IF YOU HAVE PROBLEMS URINATING DUE TO AN ENLARGED PROSTATE

 

[Tracker]

Always remember, Duck Tape cannot cure stupidity, but it can muffle the sound!

 

[The Basket]

You saying I get 50 grand for sticking a mobile phone up my pooper?

How much would I get for a laptop?

 

[mikewint]

sticking a mobile phone up my pooper

Check the warning labels. If it doesn't say not too you might have a case. Take this example:

A 20-year-old man arrived at the emergency room complaining of rectal pain. Abdominal films revealed a radiopaque object in the lower rectum. A spherical radiolucency was noted in the upper pole of the mass.
Upon questioning, the patient said that he had been fooling around with a close friend. After stirring a batch of concrete mix, the patient laid on his back with his feet up the wall while his friend poured the slurry through a funnel into his rectum.

Under general anesthesia, the mass was delivered without incident. Examination of the specimen revealed a perfect concrete cast of the rectum, measuring 12x7x5cm and weighing 275g. A layer of concrete was chipped off the upper part of the specimen revealing a white plastic ping-pong ball--the radiolucency observed in the abdominal x-ray.

The cement was an attempt to retrieve a ping pong ball! Blood alcohol level was negative. The attending physician recommended a psychiatric consultation, but the patient declined.

 

[MIflyer]

Warning Label on Car Sun Screen:

DO NOT DRIVE WITH SUNSCREEN IN PLACE

I thought that absurd until I encountered a woman doing just that. Admittedly, it was late afternoon and she was driving into the sun.

I was also amused with the warning labels that came with a Marlin 30-30 rifle and Colt .45 Commander that said that things came out of the end of the barrel very fast and could be deadly.

 

[michael rauls]

Check the warning labels. If it doesn't say not too you might have a case. Take this example:

A 20-year-old man arrived at the emergency room complaining of rectal pain. Abdominal films revealed a radiopaque object in the lower rectum. A spherical radiolucency was noted in the upper pole of the mass.
Upon questioning, the patient said that he had been fooling around with a close friend. After stirring a batch of concrete mix, the patient laid on his back with his feet up the wall while his friend poured the slurry through a funnel into his rectum.

Under general anesthesia, the mass was delivered without incident. Examination of the specimen revealed a perfect concrete cast of the rectum, measuring 12x7x5cm and weighing 275g. A layer of concrete was chipped off the upper part of the specimen revealing a white plastic ping-pong ball--the radiolucency observed in the abdominal x-ray.

The cement was an attempt to retrieve a ping pong ball! Blood alcohol level was negative. The attending physician recommended a psychiatric consultation, but the patient declined.

Anytime a story starts off with" a 20 year old man arrived at the emergency room complaining of rectal pain" you know it's not going anywhere good.

 

[mikewint]

Do you by any chance have a precision screw driver set?

 

[The Basket]

Saw a thread about this.
Thanos is going to be beaten by Ant Man by crawling up his butt and then expanding to normal size.

You will hear the ripping sound a galaxy away.

 

[Torch]

Well she was ok with it until the batteries died and the vibrate function wouldn't work anymore.....

 

[swampyankee]

I'm not going to comment on this use of cell phones, but a number of the cases turn out to be mythical

 

[Marcel]

Yeah, I'm wondering if this is not fake. Too many of these kind of stories around on the internet.

Edit:
And I'm right. Your falling for fake news again mikewint

FACT CHECK: Did a Woman Sue Samsung After Her Cellphone Got Stuck in Her Vagina?

This was not a genuine news item but just another piece of junk news from WNDR, whose disclaimer notes that the site's content is "satirical" and "fictional."

You guys should know better than believing things on the social web.

 

[The Basket]

I stuck a laptop up my ass for nothing!!!

Damn you mikewint!

 

[DerAdlerIstGelandet]

Yeah, I'm wondering if this is not fake. Too many of these kind of stories around on the internet.

Edit:
And I'm right. Your falling for fake news again mikewint

FACT CHECK: Did a Woman Sue Samsung After Her Cellphone Got Stuck in Her Vagina?



You guys should know better than believing things on the social web.

Yeah all of these things have been on facebook and the internet in general for years. I was going to say something, but I've grown tired of pointing out the same fake news and stories over and over again.

 

[mikewint]

Mea Culpa! But I read and heard it in more than one place and its not all that uncommon except for the suing part.

From the Daily Star in the UK:

Woman gets MOBILE PHONE stuck in her vagina after using it to pleasure herself

A WOMAN got a MOBILE PHONE stuck in her VAGINA after performing a solo sex act – and then it started ringing when she went to the doctors.




By Cyrus Engineer / Published 26th February 2015

RING RING: A woman got a mobile phone stuck inside her

The 27-year-old had been using her Nokia 3310 to pleasure herself.

But it slipped too far inside her and she was unable to remove it.

When she realised it was stuck she had no choice but call her gynaecologist and say she had an emergency.

While sat in the doctor's waiting room the woman's phone began to RING.

"We suspect that this is the last time this patient uses a mobile phone for something similar"
A medic at the clinic

The unknown woman, from Belgrade, Serbia, had reportedly been using the mobile phone as a sex toy because it was able to vibrate independently and did not need a phone call or text message to set it off.

Instead inbuilt games like Snake allowed it to vibrate repeatedly at a quick rate.

A medic at the clinic said: "We suspect that this is the last time this patient uses a mobile phone for something similar.

"She had the phone on a ribbon, but it had apparently slipped off."