Quokes/Jotes

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Another joke with answering machine:write a standart massageon it then a sound that sounds like an ordinary beep and wind the tape for 5-15 seconds, so the calling person could start telling the message.Then answering machine shold say folloowing message: "Could you speak a little bit slower, I'm writing it down"
 
To be honest, I hate the Cell AM. It costs you cash credit and it's almost non-effective. If you want to leave a message or to chat with a girlfriend while she's away, the most used type of communication is SMS. Simply More Straight. :lol:
 
Old man joke:

At the endstation, all passengers are out of the bus, only one old man is looking for something on the floor. The driver asks: "Sir, what are you looking for?" "For a small ball." "Okay then, I'll help you." And both are searching for the small ball all over the bus. After 15 minutes the old man stands up, starts to picking his nose and says to the driver: "Please, could you let me out. Don't worry, I'll make myself a new one."

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An old man is sitting in a bus, over him is standing a young girl. "Grampa, I think a part of your penis is sticking out from your trousers." she says. "No, no," he replies, "it's all!"

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Q: Do you know how to identificate a happy biker?
A: He has flies between his teeth.
 
The Crew of the K19 celebrating Soviet Navy Day - URRAH!
 

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Japanese decided to replace impersonal and useless
microsoft announcements about the errors of system with
poetic ones. Here are examples of announcements in the style Of dzen...

Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

The website you seek
Cannot be located, but
Countless more exist.

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent and reboot.
Order shall return.

Aborted effort.
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.

First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
so beautifully.

With searching comes loss
and the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.

The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao, until
You bring fresh toner.

Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No-one hears your screams.

Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.

Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.

A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.

You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.

Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.

Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.

Rather than a beep
Or a rude error message,
These words: "File not found."

Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

I ate your Web page.
Forgive me; it was tasty
And tart on my tongue.
 
Quote from a US soldier in Afganistan....

"Do we really need 'smart bombs' to drop on these dumb bastards?"
 
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