Quotes and Jokes (17 Viewers)

:lol:
 
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My mate's daughter asked him, "Dad, when was the first time you fell in love?"

He said, "I was 19. I walked into a bar and spotted the most gorgeous blonde I'd ever seen. Cupid fired his arrow the moment I saw her."

His daughter asked, "So what happened?"

Her Dad said, "Nothing. The arrow missed and hit your mother..."
 
Here in Minnesota, if you say you hit the animal, you are admitting fault.
No, the kangaroo hit you.
 
I remember a bloke who had a VW beetle. He hit a roo out near Rocky Gully. Having the low front and curve up the bonnet (hood) meant
the roo came straight up the front of the car and through the old flat windscreen into the passenger seat. This was not good as the roo was
then desperate to get away.

A roo has large legs as you probably know and it is the only thing they have for propulsion so it attempted to "kickstart" itself. Unfortunately
this fella's ribs and head were in a direct line to the legs and he got the crap kicked out of him until he managed to get his door open and
fall out onto the ground. The roo kindly jumped over him on the way out. Upshot - don't hit a roo if you are in a beetle.
 
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