Quotes and Jokes (11 Viewers)
- Thread starter Marcel
- Start date
Lucky13
Forum Mascot
An engineer dies and reports to hell. Pretty soon, the engineer becomes dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements.
After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.
One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer: "So, how's it going down there in hell?"
Satan replies: "Hey things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."
God replies: "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake - he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."
Satan says: "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."
God says: "Send him back up here or I'll sue."
Satan laughs uproariously and answers: "Yeah, right. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?"
After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.
One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer: "So, how's it going down there in hell?"
Satan replies: "Hey things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."
God replies: "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake - he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."
Satan says: "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."
God says: "Send him back up here or I'll sue."
Satan laughs uproariously and answers: "Yeah, right. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?"
buffnut453
Captain
MiTasol
Major
Two sharks were swimming in the ocean when they spotted survivors from a sinking ship.
"Follow me, son," said the father shark, and together they swam toward the group of people.
"First, we circle them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing."
The son circles the group of people.
"Well done, son! Now let's circle them again, this time with all of our fins showing."
The son circles the group of people, this time with all of his fins showing.
"Now," the father said, "we eat everyone."
And they did.
After they were both stuffed, the young shark asked,
"Dad, why didn't we just eat them right away? Why all the circling first?"
The father replied wisely,
"Because, my son, they taste much better if you scare the crap out of them first."
"Follow me, son," said the father shark, and together they swam toward the group of people.
"First, we circle them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing."
The son circles the group of people.
"Well done, son! Now let's circle them again, this time with all of our fins showing."
The son circles the group of people, this time with all of his fins showing.
"Now," the father said, "we eat everyone."
And they did.
After they were both stuffed, the young shark asked,
"Dad, why didn't we just eat them right away? Why all the circling first?"
The father replied wisely,
"Because, my son, they taste much better if you scare the crap out of them first."
SaparotRob
Unter Gemeine Geschwader Murmeltier XIII
I believe this is already a thing.
A story went the rounds last week of a woman fined in the UK under local by-laws for walking her dog while not carrying a poop bag just in case. The argument that she didn't need one as it had pooped earlier that day on another walk was rejected!!!
