My neighbor with the very troublesome Porsche Cayanne came asking for help again. Yesterday he asked me how to hook up the battery charger I gave him. He did not understand why the charger had a "6" setting, and two "12" settings. I still was not feeling well after the flu and told him to just use of the one of the "12" settings.
This morning he came over again, almost in tears, saying he did not understand how to hook it up. I told him again and he asked what the reading on the meter would be. I replied there was no way to know what the ammeter would say without knowing whether was using the low amp or high amp 12V setting and knowing the charge condition of the battery. He said that the battery had failed to start the car AGAIN (2nd new battery in a few months) and he had to get it started to take it to the company where he had the battery replaced previously. I put on my shoes, walked over, We hooked up the battery charger and I noted that there was no current showing on the low amp 12V setting. On the high amp setting it pulled 3.5 amps, which still seems a bit low given that the battery won't start the car. He asked how long to charge it and said to check it every 15 min or so and the charge rate should be down to about 2 amps within 4 hours. Obviously the car has something else wrong with, because even if it shows a positive charge rate when it is running, with that unresponsive low 12V amp setting there is some kind of resistance in the circuit. But with the $300 battery buried under the seat and noting much available to look at other than the posts under the hood where you hook up the battery charger, troubleshooting is a real challenge.
I thought that giving him his own battery charger would get him out of my hair for least this kind of problem but that did not happen. During the 30 years he has lived next door I must have been over there to jumpstart a car or analyze an electrical problem at least two or three dozen times.
I am beginning to appreciate the old phrase, "It does not take a rocket scientist to...." Because sometimes it really does if you live next door to one.