I hope that everything gets as well as possible.
About that 'our place' and 'association' bitch - I'm not getting it. Care to expand?
What made me sad today... (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter Greg Boeser
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About that 'our place' and 'association' bitch - I'm not getting it. Care to expand?
SaparotRob
Unter Gemeine Geschwader Murmeltier XIII
Been in similar situation myself way back when. I understand the depression from that situation completely. Believe it or not, it's great you guys are in contact. I went full hermit. No job left me feeling unable to face family and friends. I'm glad my folks reached out.
- Thread starter
- #163
Greg Boeser
1st Lieutenant
In the US, many housing developments are governed by an association, either a homeowners' association or similar body. Everyone who lives there is governed by the association rules. These can be very strict, covering nearly all aspects of living there. Everything from approved colors of exteriors, what can be displayed in your front yard, ungaraged vehicles, housing guests, etc.
Glad I don't live in such an area.
Father-in-law got diagnosed Leukaemia. Luckily it seems to be a slow developing variant but still.
buffnut453
Captain
Brother Pete,
Went through something similar a few years back with our youngest, although he was still at home with us. Depression can be paralyzing and it's tough, as parents, to know how to proceed. My first recommendation is to persuade your son to get the help he needs. We enrolled our youngest in a day center that helped give him coping skills to recognize the onset of depressive thoughts and to find ways to address them (he had a double-whammy of anxiety, too).
As to the HOA, I'd tell them to shove it (although I'm letting my ire cloud my judgement here). Your son isn't a "guest"...he's your FAMILY. That's a crucial difference. I can see the HOA getting up in arms if a resident was sub-letting an apartment to a stranger. However, the HOA seeking to prevent parents from supporting a child during a crisis is an entirely separate thing and, IMHO, despicable. Are you on reasonable terms with any of the HOA officials? If so, perhaps you could have a private word with them to press the point I'm making about family not being guests?
Hope things start to come together for your family. We'll keep you all in our prayers.
All the best to your father-in-law .
Snautzer01
Marshal
- 46,292
- Mar 26, 2007
If it is old age, it could be not that a big thing. My sweet mother in law has got that diagnose at 71. She is now 82 . Very fit for an old timer she is.
It depends, so hope it is that old age thing.
Peter Gunn
Master Sergeant
So sorry to hear that, will keep you and your Father-In-Law in our prayers my friend.
Peter Gunn
Master Sergeant
Pretty much what
Greg Boeser said, the only difference is we have a condominium not a house, which is like an apartment complex but you own your apartment. Being that we're not in a house, I can only have my cars in the garage, it's actually a pain in the rear and we're already getting ready to sell it and move out. Too many restrictions.Thank you tomo for your kind words.
Peter Gunn
Master Sergeant
Buff,
Thank you for your thoughts and prayers, it means a great deal. I hope your son is doing well now and over his depression and anxiety issues.
I agree, you ask yourself sometimes how anyone could miss the signs leading up to something bad happening and when it happens to you, well, suddenly it becomes clear. When you're too close to the problem or just don't want to admit to yourself (in my case) that your child is having serious issues. Again, I thank God he doesn't have any addictions to battle and he has a pretty good support group with his older brother and two younger sisters. There's some sibling friction there but in hard times/emergencies they stick together like glue, I'm very proud of them for that.
As to the HOA, we're in a condo and while it's really nice it's way too easy for the self appointed condo high sheriffs to spot any infractions, I have to keep my cars in my garage which is dicey as I have my old muscle car plus my wife's and my car. I'm constantly playing roulette with the available spaces in the VERY small parking lot. I can have "A" car in my driveway for several hours if it is a visitor. UGH. I really didn't think this through when we bought the place 3 years ago. We've already decided to put it up for sale, not sure how that will fly in this housing market here in Florida but this thing with our son was the last straw.
To top it all off, the guy next door not only has a yappy little dog that carries on quite a bit, he's a rat (tattle tale for those not associated with U.S. Slang). But I can assure you, if push comes to shove, our son takes precedence over any HOA BS, after his time at the motel runs out I think he can manage just fine in the spare room. Also since we decided to sell, I've been firing up the Monte Carlo a lot more often just to make sure it stays in tune...
Maybe I shouldn't have those 3" exhausts with the MagnaFlows on that 454, just saying.
Huh, I managed another magnum opus again, sorry for the rant, but it does give a little relief to chat with you all about it.
We have an HOA, but ours is fortunately very relaxed. They are simply more concerned with people leaving trash in their front yards, or simply letting their houses fall a part. Overall, though, they leave us alone. I'm actually running for office so I can ensure I am on the inside to prevent some stupid Karen from screwing it up.
Sorry to hear that. My thoughts are with you all.
buffnut453
Captain
Sorry to hear that, Marcel. Hopefully they caught it early enough and are able to treat it.
Thanks Karl, I will. Maybe it's not so bad, we're waiting for some tests. As @Snautzer01 said, there are some variants that can be kept under control quite well. We're hoping that this will be the case here as well.
special ed
1st Lieutenant
- 7,074
- May 13, 2018
A friend in San Antonio told of his HOA rules. His front door can only be painted white or pale cream, and if he doesn't cut grass every week, someone with a ruler checks to make sure the grass is not more than 8 inches tall.
Where I live is across the road from a subdivision with a HOA and I am often asked how I get away with something with the HOA. My answer is shocking.
Where I live is across the road from a subdivision with a HOA and I am often asked how I get away with something with the HOA. My answer is shocking.
I have a relative with a certain leukaemia type (I thought it was all the same but apparently not).
The problem is now handled with a particular type of targeting pill which has allowed her to
have no changes to lifestyle at all so you never know do you.
The problem is now handled with a particular type of targeting pill which has allowed her to
have no changes to lifestyle at all so you never know do you.
buffnut453
Captain
We made an executive decision to NEVER buy a property that was involved in a HOA. Too many friends being told what they can and cannot do on their own property, like being told they can't put a swingset in their back yard for their kids. Welcome to America, land of the free!
- Thread starter
- #179
Greg Boeser
1st Lieutenant
Same here. But then I love old houses, so, cookie cutter McMansions were never going to attract me anyway.
mikewint
Captain
First and foremost to Marcel, my most sincere thoughts and prayers for, if not a cure a remission. There are tremendous strides being made these days fighting cancer.
Now, today is a day that I NEVER even dreamed, in my wildest imaginings, would EVER come to pass. The STATE (AR) legislature is debating a bill that if passed and signed would, BY LAW!!!, regulate who would be allowed to use what public bathroom. One can only imagine HOW this will be enforced.
"Display equipment or lack thereof before entering"
I'm too old for this modern world.
Now I freely admit going into the girls locker room on occasion BUT, I did have the decency to pretend that I had suddenly been struck blind.
Now, today is a day that I NEVER even dreamed, in my wildest imaginings, would EVER come to pass. The STATE (AR) legislature is debating a bill that if passed and signed would, BY LAW!!!, regulate who would be allowed to use what public bathroom. One can only imagine HOW this will be enforced.
"Display equipment or lack thereof before entering"
I'm too old for this modern world.
Now I freely admit going into the girls locker room on occasion BUT, I did have the decency to pretend that I had suddenly been struck blind.
