Cheap Chinese Crap!

Man, wish I could take credit for this one:



THE FERT

Oh what a sleekit horrible beastie
Lurks in yer belly efter the feastie
Just as ye sit doon among yer kin
There sterts to stir an enormous wind
The neeps and tatties and mushy peas
stert workin like a gentle breeze
but soon the puddin wi the sauncie face
will have ye blawin all ower the place
Nae matter whit the hell ye dae
a'bodys gonnae have tae pay
even if ye try to stifle
It's like a bullet oot a rifle
Hawd yer bum tight tae the chair
tae try and stop the leakin air
shify yersel fae cheek tae cheek
Prae tae God it doesnae reek
But aw yer efforts go assunder
oot it comes like a clap a thunder
Ricochets aroon the room
michty me a sonic boom
God almighty it fairly reeks
Hope I huvnae **** ma breeks
tae the bog I better scurry
aw whit the hell, it's no ma worry
A'body roon aboot me chokin
wan or two are nearly bokin
I'll feel better for a while
Cannae help but raise a smile
Wis him! I shout with accusin glower
alas too late, he's just keeled ower
Ye dirty bugger they shout and stare
A dinnae feel welcome any mair
Where e're ye go let yer wind gan ' free
sounds like just the job fur me
whit a fuss at rabbie's perty
ower the sake o' won wee ferty

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!

Awrite....WHO cut the cheese??

Baked beans are good for the heart
Baked beans make you fart
The more you eat, the better you feel
Baked beans for every meal !!!

- kids rhyme back in NZ

A fart is a dart that comes from the heart,
And flows through the belly with ease.
It reaches the britches and bursts all the stitches,
And pooh! What a terrible breeze !!!

- kids rhyme in Ireland

Whats the sharpest thing in the world?

A fart.
Goes right through a pair of pants without making a hole.