Encounters With The Moronic

[Negative Creep]

I had one the other week, did a delivery for around £8 and they handed me a £20. I explained I only carry £10 change and hence could not give the correct money back. After explaining this a few times she vanishes back into the house, only to come back a few minutes later.

"Would an extra £5 help?"

 

[diddyriddick]

I had one the other week, did a delivery for around £8 and they handed me a £20. I explained I only carry £10 change and hence could not give the correct money back. After explaining this a few times she vanishes back into the house, only to come back a few minutes later.

"Would an extra £5 help?"

Yes it will!

 

[trackend]

A guy I worked with tried to defend his mate when he was accused of crashing his car into another guys parked motor he said

" It wasnt him. I was there when he didnt do it"

 

[Njaco]

speaking of food...

One day I came home and my ex had cooked beef stroganof but she said the recipe called for a lot of black pepper. I was so hungry I didn't care. One bite and my mouth was flamin'! I asked for the recipe, read it and then asked how much meat she had used. She said 1 lb.

The recipe was for 5 lbs!

 

[Doughboy]

Rochie,

Your cake story reminded me of another...

My mom's neighbor made your boy look like a Rhodes scholar. She'd made a cake using MOTOR OIL that she'd bought at the grocery store, and was complaining about how awful it was. When my mother pointed out that motor oil was not suitable for cooking, the neighbor went back to the store and went on a big rant about how grocery stores shouldn't be allowed to sell oil that you can't eat.

This is the same woman that bought a VCR (it was over 20 yrs ago). After my brother hooked it up for her, she asked if it was ready to record her soap operas while she was at work. When my brother pointed out that she still had to get a tape, she went completely ballistic, raving on about how she'd already spent $300 and wasn't going to spend one damn cent more!

I suspect that she'd given so many people a piece of her mind over the years, that...

That's hillarrious.

 

[trackend]

See a guy take his power boat inside a submerged Jetty marker, big and very expensive mistake

 

[vanir]

Some time ago I had a patrol cop tell me the motor I put in my car never came out in my model car, so he was putting it off the road and wrote it up. He pulled me over coming out of a city strip, not for bad driving but for a good exhaust note (which was well within limits btw). We were just cruising lazily, which is what you do in a car like that.

I explained the engine I'd put in was an optional engine type on that car, which was a performance model and I'd satisfied the roadworthy requirements. But because the exterior of the car, being a base model version didn't have all the racing stripes and stickers of the loud looking performance version, and it looked for all the world like a normal small family car, that it just seemed ridiculous to this cop that it should be legal to have what amounted to a race quality engine in it. He'd never heard of the performance version I described to him, a Torana GTR XU-1 and didn't know what one was, but was going to give me a citation anyway.

Now I'll admit it was pretty impressive to have a little granny sedan that rocks and snorts at idle, but this young cop couldn't tell me one piece of legislation or roadworthy guideline that I was breaking or any that even related to what he was talking about. He said he just didn't like the car, it seemed to fast to be allowed on the road.

So he slaps the unroadworthy notice on my windscreen, tells me to drive home and get a full engineer's report and roadworthy before driving again. I'll have to take these reports to a police station for the injunction to be removed, which would cost hundreds or more and take weeks.

Bugger this I figured, this cop doesn't know what he's talking about. Next morning I go straight to a local police station, walk in the door and tell the cop on the desk I'd like a canary removed (they're yellow notices so we call them canaries). I hand him the infraction notice, which lists all sorts of nonsensical extrapolations about the difference between one engine option and another engine option (battery mount changed, manifolding change, intake ducting added, etc.).

New, older cop says, "Better pop the hood so I can have a look."
I do and he does.

"Oh an XU-1 motor, right? This one looks very clean, you obviously look after it. Great little car, I used to have one. Spun the wheels in three gears, great fun. Okay, you can take that notice off."

Ripper I says. Someone who's actually driven an XU-1 before and knows they existed.
What's that saying about absolute power and corruption? Oh that's right, absolute power is the definition of corruption.

 

[Njaco]

Great one, Vanir!

 

[gumbyk]

I hope you filed a complaint against the idiot cop who gave you the yellow sticker