Happy Festivus to all!

Discussion in 'OFF-Topic / Misc.' started by Bucksnort101, Dec 23, 2015.

  1. Bucksnort101

    Bucksnort101 Well-Known Member

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    Hey I even hung the Christmas lights again this year. I know, I've used this before but it's always good for a laugh;)

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  2. Airframes

    Airframes Benevolens Magister

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    May I be the first to wish all a Happy Easter ............
     
  3. mikewint

    mikewint Well-Known Member

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    Why thank you Terry and I reciprocate
     

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  4. DerAdlerIstGelandet

    DerAdlerIstGelandet Der Crew Chief
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    Happy Stolen Pagan Holiday everyone!

    And for those of you who ignore history or have no sense of humor...

    Merry Christmas!

    :D
     
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  5. Old Wizard

    Old Wizard Well-Known Member

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    All the best wishes for this Christmas.
     
  6. Crimea_River

    Crimea_River Well-Known Member

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    Remember, don't eat the yellow snow! Merry Christmas everyone!

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  7. GrauGeist

    GrauGeist Well-Known Member

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    I guess I could cover all the bases and wish everyone a Happy Saturnalia and Happy Yule Tide, too! :lol:
     
  8. fubar57

    fubar57 Well-Known Member

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    Geo
     
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  9. at6

    at6 Well-Known Member

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    Happy Festivus to you as well. And if you find a lump of poo in your stocking................................Mr Hanky dropped in as well.
     
  10. Wayne Little

    Wayne Little Well-Known Member

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    Merry Christmas Everyone!!!
     
  11. Gnomey

    Gnomey World Travelling Doctor
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    Merry Christmas all!
     
  12. Wurger

    Wurger Siggy Master
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    Merry Christmas Everyone !!!
     
  13. imalko

    imalko Well-Known Member

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    Merry Christmas!
     
  14. rochie

    rochie Well-Known Member

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    Merry Christmas guys.

    Think of me tommorow as i am cooking for 200 misarable buggers who have paid a fortune to come to my hotel for xmas lunch only to whine its not the same as being at home ! :dontknow:

    And remember a turkey is for Christmas not for life !

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  15. Crimea_River

    Crimea_River Well-Known Member

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    Hope you get time to celebrate with your own Karl.
     
  16. rochie

    rochie Well-Known Member

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    Thanks Andy, i will, i finish work about 3:30pm and am not back until tuesday 29th.
     
  17. Crimea_River

    Crimea_River Well-Known Member

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  18. mikewint

    mikewint Well-Known Member

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    Twas the night before Christmas and Santa’s a wreck…
    How to live in a world that’s politically correct?
    His workers no longer would answer to “Elves”.
    “Vertically Challenged” they were calling themselves.
    And labor conditions at the north pole
    Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.
    Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
    Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.
    And equal employment had made it quite clear
    That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
    So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
    Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!
    The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
    The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.
    And people had started to call for the cops
    When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops.
    Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
    His fur trimmed red suit was called “Unenlightened.”
    And to show you the strangeness of life’s ebbs and flows,
    Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose
    And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation,
    Demanding millions in over-due compensation.
    So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
    Who suddenly said she’d enough of this life,
    Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
    Demanding from now on her title was Ms.
    And as for the gifts, why, he’d ne’er had a notion
    That making a choice could cause so much commotion.
    Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
    Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.
    Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
    Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot.
    Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
    Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys.
    Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
    Nothing that’s warlike or non-pacific.
    No candy or sweets…they were bad for the tooth.
    Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.
    And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
    Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.
    For they raised the hackles of those psychological
    Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.
    No baseball, no football…someone could get hurt;
    Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
    Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;
    And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
    So Santa just stood there, disheveled, perplexed;
    He just could not figure out what to do next.
    He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
    you’ve got to be careful with that word today.
    His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
    Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.
    Something special was needed, a gift that he might
    Give to all without angering the left or the right.
    A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
    Each group of people, every religion;
    Every ethnicity, every hue,
    Everyone, everywhere…even you.
    So here is that gift, it’s price beyond worth…
    “May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth.”
     

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