Kiwi Beer and Bits

[ndicki]

K9, with you all the way there. I do not drink and drive. I also have a wife...

I had to explain to a pilot who questioned that attitude, that if he was not allowed to drink for 24 hours before flying, when in fact once you've got the crate off there's nothing to hit, then why should a driver be able to drink a couple when the whole time he's behind the wheel, there's plenty to hit.

I've been lucky enough never to have seen the sort of scene you describe, but I'm sure that a lot of the people who were killed or who suffered - including the people from the emergency services - were entirely innocent. And that's another nasty thing.

 

[DerAdlerIstGelandet]

So the Thread Nazi's can go take a flying if its not the "right" place.

Are you implying that the moderators here are thread nazis?

 

[DerAdlerIstGelandet]

K9, with you all the way there. I do not drink and drive. I also have a wife...

I had to explain to a pilot who questioned that attitude, that if he was not allowed to drink for 24 hours before flying, when in fact once you've got the crate off there's nothing to hit, then why should a driver be able to drink a couple when the whole time he's behind the wheel, there's plenty to hit.

I've been lucky enough never to have seen the sort of scene you describe, but I'm sure that a lot of the people who were killed or who suffered - including the people from the emergency services - were entirely innocent. And that's another nasty thing.

I have to agree with you as well. I do not drink and drive at all. Not even after one beer. I could not bear to think of the innocent life lost if I had a wreck after I had been drinking. My life is one thing but not someone elses or those of my loved ones such as my wife.

Me and my wife take turns driving. She drives this weekend, I drive next weekend and so forth.

I apply the same thing we used when I was flying with the military. 24 hours from the bottle to the throttle when it came to driving as well.

 

[k9kiwi]

Kia Kaha Dicki.

As a Dog Handler you walk with your 110-120 pound German Shepard on your left. You hold the lead with your right hand so that if the dog lunges you can brace and not get pulled off balance.

These are NOT standard Police Dogs, to anyone outside the Unit they are downright anti social if they get closer than 12 feet. So you need to be on your toes when walking around the base.

So when encountering an Occifer the procedure was to simply Brace up as you walked past and with a sharp eyes right /left / whatever snap out a Sir or Ma'am as the case may be. The Occifer would salute back and respond "Corporal".

Once a year the Sprogs would arrive (newly commisioned occifers), did they LOVE being saluted, did they what.

The confusion when they met a dog team was significant, utterly dumbfounded as you strolled on after the Eyes Right you would hear a squeaky voice tremoring with indignation shout "Stand Fast Corporal".

Then after doing and about face and coming to attention, the RANT would start about saluting Occifers as he storms towards you. When he is about 15 feet away the Corporal would say something to the effect of "Sir, STOP there, do NOT approach the Dog."

Utter confusion now rules the day, you could see it rolling through their slow moving brain cells "That Corporal just gave ME an Order"

Off they go honking, nashing teeth, tearing hair etc, Your going on a charge blah blah blah. Once you managed to explain the facts of life to them (if they gave you a chance) they were asked to check with either the Base Adjutant or Base Warrant Officer.

After a few years of this I got bored, so for a couple of weeks did some "extra" training with my lad (name withheld for Op Sec ).

Came the day, I was strolling past base headquarters on a hot day, Base Adj, Warrant Officer, and Base Commander are sitting in their offices with windows open, rest of BHQ staff are working away when suddenly all that is heard is the loud shout...

"Corporal, don't you salute Officers."

Place stops, everyone is looking out the window at the Dog team and the Officer.

Corporal snaps to attenion, the Dog sits, Corporal shouts back...

"My apologies Sir, Dog Salute"

The dog lifts his right paw up beside his head as trained.

Stunned Mullet Occifer did the WRONG thing....

He saluted the Dog.

There was a moments silence before the whole of BHQ lost it and roared with laughter.

Base Adj hangs his head out and orders the Occifer inside for some ettiquite lessons, and me to report to Base WO.

Occifer got his butt kicked hard, me and the Base WO enjoyed a good laugh before I was politely asked not to do that again, it tended to ruin the newbies self esteem.

All in all, a worth while training exercise for the dog.

 

[DerAdlerIstGelandet]

That is a good funny story.

 

[Nonskimmer]

Nice.

 

[Gnomey]

Good one

 

[k9kiwi]

In memory of a great man -Ronnie Barker. RIP

-----This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the seventies. Ronnie Barker could say all this without a snigger (though god knows how many takes). The irony is that they received not one complaint. The speed of delivery must have been too much for most. Try getting through it without converting the spoonerisms as you read ..

This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.

Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot.

At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered.

The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers;they had fetty sweet and fetty swannies. The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.

Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared. Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks

The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise, there would be a cucking falamity.

At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when suddenly the clock struck twelve. "Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping her slass glipper.

The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and the sugly isters let him in. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let off a fig bart. "Who's fust jarted??" asked the prandsome hince. "Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge. When the stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk.

Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and a hig bard on.

He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly.

Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny.

 

[ndicki]

K9, that's another two times I've had to wipe the sh*t off my screen!

I like the ones about the dogs... I remember once I was out the back of the hut lighting up for a drag, and some squaddie came tearing round the corner and saluted me. I saluted straight back, and only then realized I still had my fag in my mouth...

 

[the lancaster kicks ass]

ah i love Ronnie Barker what an absolute legend!

 

[cheddar cheese]

Hahaha great

 

[the lancaster kicks ass]

if you haven't seen it before that sketch's even better for real, he's done a lot of scenes like that.............

 

[cheddar cheese]

First person to find the sketch on YouTube for me gets a prize

 

[k9kiwi]

Whatatanagata kia kaha (Quit ye like men, be strong).

Formed at Leuchars on 12 August 1941 in the torpedo bomber role, it was intended to be equipped with Beauforts, but these were slow in arriving and from January 1942 the squadron used Blenheims IVs instead. Three months later Hampden torpedo bombers arrived and the squadron moved south to Thorney Island, from where it also operated detachments at Wick and St Eval.

It carried out anti-submarine patrols, reconnaissance flights over Norway and torpedo attacks against E-boats and other surface shipping. In August 1942, it moved to Skitten and then in October it returned to Leuchars, where it re-equipped with Beaufighters, taking them south to Langham in Norfolk in April 1944. From here it operated along the Dutch, North German and French coasts as part of the Langham Strike Wing, but in October, the whole Wing re-located to Dallachy in Scotland, from where it operated along the Norwegian coast.

The squadron continued to take part in these operations until the end of the war and the following month, June 1945, it moved to Banff where it began to receive Mosquito FB 6s, but before it could become operational on these it disbanded on 1 August 1945.

 

[k9kiwi]

I was interested to see Les had posted a WMV clip of FireFighters injured in a "Backdraft".

Reporters ALWAYS call them Backdrafts, it is a common mistake ever since the movie came out.

Let me explain a bit.

When you light a fire in a room (don't try this at home kiddies) smoke is produced, smoke is unburnt particles of stuff. Heat is generated, and the smoke / heat combination builds up at the highest point and flows down to floor level from there.

As long as Oxygen is sufficient this combination will contiune to grow untill the room and smoke reach a point around 600 degrees Celcius.

At that point a Flashover occurs, the smoke and the heated contents of the room simultaneously combust with explosive force.

If the room is enclosed the oxygen is consumed and the super heated contents and smoke layer are just sitting there waiting for oxygen.

A person opens the door, oxygen rushes in, and the resulting explosion is akin to a bomb going off, thats a backdraft.

It is also why you are supposed to test doors for heat with the back of your hand before cracking them open, as well as to stand aside when opening the door.

Not knocking anything, just saying. And I have been inside a house when the room did a Flashover in our faces, clean nappies please and I hope I never get THAT again.

See here for a clear example of a Flashover.

The Speed of Fire - NZ Fire Service

 

[Wildcat]

Nice pics mate, however the second last one is actually a Beaufighter from 455sqn RAAF hence the "UB" codes.

 

[k9kiwi]

Correct.

They shared the same airfield and raided shipping together. It was included as an ANZAC thing.

 

[DerAdlerIstGelandet]

Not saying that you are incorrect because I am not a fireman and therefore dont know all the technical terms but is it not maybe that in American English they call it a Backdraft rather than a flash over?

 

[k9kiwi]

Adler.

Backdraft and Flashover are international terminology. All of the International Brothers I know from London FB to FDNY and in between use the same distinction between the two.

The standard joke is the Fire Triangle (Oxygen, Heat, Fuel) becomes the Fire square (Oxygen, Heat, Fuel, Officer).

Take one away and the fire goes out.

 

[ndicki]

When I did fire training with the French BSPP, they told us to crouch down behind the wall, and not to touch the doorhandle directly... Made sense.