Quotes and Jokes (16 Viewers)

[Lucky13]

View: https://x.com/woofknight/status/2033010069852324071?s=20

Plus, all them aliens travelling at faster than light speed!

 

[SaparotRob]

Plus, all them aliens travelling at faster than light speed!

What color is that?

 

[buffnut453]

Plus, all them aliens travelling at faster than light speed!

It's the ones travelling at the speed of dark that worry me.

Hmmm...didn't we have a thread about that?

 

[Gnomey]

 

[special ed]

Formation flights at the speed of dark.

 

[Lucky13]

What color is that?

It's the ones travelling at the speed of dark that worry me.

Hmmm...didn't we have a thread about that?

I think we do or did....do we really go down that rabbit 🕳 , again?

 

[MiTasol]

Maybe we should try the speed of forgetfulness this time.

 

[buffnut453]

Maybe we should try the speed of forgetfulness this time.

What was the previous time? I've forgotten.

 

[buffnut453]

I'll match your 2 deer:

1. The future Ms. D-1 and I were driving home from summer jobs to visit the parents. Coming the other way was a stream of vehicles; in their headlights, I could see a deer in the ditch. Of course, it waited for those vehicles to pass before bounding out in front of me. Ms. D-1 was reading a bride's magazine by an under dash light, so I reached over and pushed her upright into her seat while attempting evasive maneuvers. And we almost missed, unfortunately, the driver's fender hit the deer's a$$, crumpling it. Upon getting the car stopped, we looked back and the deer was attempting to pull itself into the ditch with only its front legs working. So, I pulled the tire iron out of the back car and put the poor animal out of its misery.

Insurance tried to write off my old compact car; had to bid against the auto wreckers to get my wheels back. A new fender and the blood washed off and it was as good as it ever was.

2. Was in Rockglen to visit in-laws. I agreed to take the BiL out to "the ranch". As we came out of the valley on highway toward Killdeer, I noticed a couple deer coming up out of the ditch. I nailed the throttle on my brand new F-150. Again we almost made it. The deer hit between the rear wheel well and the bumper. Left enough hair in the trim around the wheel well and on the bumper plastic to support that we had made contact, but otherwise no damage. BiL never saw the deer or felt it hit. This time the deer survived too (well, at least it ran off).

We regularly see more than a dozen deer between Assiniboine and "the ranch" south of Rockglen.

And I'll raise you a couple:

3. Driving to a high school party, I came upon the scene of an accident between car and deer; RCMP were already on the scene. Again the poor deer was crippled but not dead. The police officer wasn't willing to shoot the poor animal - between the concern about paperwork over discharging his gun and killing Bambi, he couldn't do it. Driving home would have been 30+ minutes each way. So, I borrowed his revolver and put it down. Then I took the discharged round home, reloaded it and returned it the next day. Officially, it never happened.

The best part, the cop never checked my truck for booze...

4. My niece hit a moose with her Jetta... She ducked as it came through the windshield. She got clipped by a hoof and wound up with a concussion but was otherwise unharmed. The Jetta was a convertible after.

Moose + Jetta = EEEEEKKKK!!!

(other, stronger, words are available)

 

[Maxrobot1]

 

[Maxrobot1]

 

[Maxrobot1]

 

[Maxrobot1]

 

[Lucky13]

 

[Greg Boeser]

View attachment 871733

That's just what you keep in the glovebox when you have to go downtown.

 

[MiTasol]

Moose + Jetta = EEEEEKKKK!!!

(other, stronger, words are available)

Deer + 70mph +new Ford F100 = Whopppeeee, now I can get a new GM C30 instead of going back to the dealers every few weeks.

 

[GTX]

View: https://x.com/naiivememe/status/2033370932681793962?s=20

 

[GTX]

 

[GTX]

 

[GTX]