Quotes and Jokes (7 Viewers)

[GTX]

 

[GTX]

 

[Wurger]

 

[Gnomey]

 

[MiTasol]

 

[MiTasol]

 

[Lucky13]

 

[Hoggardhigh]

 

[GTX]

 

[GTX]

AI but still amusing:


View: https://youtube.com/shorts/RM8ee1sDcWI?si=qECLsT1Z8EWmuRkq

 

[GTX]

Another:


View: https://youtube.com/shorts/HI-tFPtD4is?si=d2h9Z-khmX9M_U72

 

[GTX]

View: https://youtube.com/shorts/xtICdacGScc?si=SaGMjyRZWt9iWKbz

 

[MIflyer]

I know what y'all are thinking when you see this picture.

Yep, me too! "Why does that phone have TWO handsets?"

 

[MIflyer]

And if you take that advice, that leaves you with WHAT to do there?

 

[special ed]

From an unknown author:

"Yesterday, I was at CostCo buying a huge bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Necco the Wonder Dog, who weights 191 lbs.

I was in the checkout line when the woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had; an elephant?

So...because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that, no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again.

I added that I probably shouldn't because last time I ended up in hospital, but I'd lost fifty pounds before I awakened in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her it was essentially a perfect diet because the food is nutritionally complete. I simply filled my pockets with Purina nuggets and eat a few every time I felt hungry. It worked so well that I was going to try it again.

By this time, the entire checkout line was enthralled with my story.

Horrified, the woman asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.

I told her, no, I stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind me was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

CostCo won't let me shop there any more.

The moral of the story? Watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say."

Not as thoughtful and elaborate, while in line at the grocery with several cans of catfood tuna, the young thing behind me says, "Oh, do you have a cat?"
"No, I'm having tuna casserole tonight."

 

[MIflyer]

The second thing I thought of was: "Did they really ever have Scottish female pirates?"

 

[Gnomey]

 

[ARTESH]

The second thing I thought of was: "Did they really ever have Scottish female pirates?"

View attachment 883682

No necklace / bracelets... dissapointed! But not surprised, since she has only this one set of clothes!!!

 

[ARTESH]

And if you take that advice, that leaves you with WHAT to do there?

View attachment 883679

"They can play with their balls", an Iranian answered.

 

[Wurger]