Quotes and Jokes (22 Viewers)
- Thread starter Marcel
- Start date
Greg Boeser
1st Lieutenant
The joy of fiddling with clocks is that you get to drive directly into the sunrise on your way to work four weeks a year instead of just two.
MiTasol
Major
I got a full mailbox this morning. These are a few of them.
MiTasol
Major
Lucky13
Forum Mascot
Sometimes a single moment is enough to forget about life, other times a life isn't enough to forget a single moment....
MiTasol
Major
How do you tell the difference between an Australian Police Officer, a Canadian Police Officer, an American Police Officer, and a Scottish Police Officer?
The answer is found below.
QUESTION:
You're a policeman, on duty by yourself. You are walking on a deserted street late at night.
Suddenly, an armed man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you and screaming something that sounds like obscenities, raises the knife and lunges at you.
You are carrying your truncheon and are an expert in using it.
However, you have only a split second to react before he reaches you.
What do you do?
ANSWERS:
Australian Police Officer:
Firstly, BANG BANG BANG
Secondly the Officer must consider the persons human rights.
1) Does the man look poor and/or oppressed?
2) Is he newly arrived in this country and does not yet understand the law?
3) Is this really a knife or a ceremonial dagger?
4) Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Canadian Police Officer:
BANG !
American Police Officer:
BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG !
'Click'...Reload...
BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG !
Glasgow Police Officer:
"Haw, Jimmie....! Drop the wee knife reet this minute noo, unless ye want it stuck up yer arse!"
The answer is found below.
QUESTION:
You're a policeman, on duty by yourself. You are walking on a deserted street late at night.
Suddenly, an armed man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you and screaming something that sounds like obscenities, raises the knife and lunges at you.
You are carrying your truncheon and are an expert in using it.
However, you have only a split second to react before he reaches you.
What do you do?
ANSWERS:
Australian Police Officer:
Firstly, BANG BANG BANG
Secondly the Officer must consider the persons human rights.
1) Does the man look poor and/or oppressed?
2) Is he newly arrived in this country and does not yet understand the law?
3) Is this really a knife or a ceremonial dagger?
4) Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Canadian Police Officer:
BANG !
American Police Officer:
BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG !
'Click'...Reload...
BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG !
Glasgow Police Officer:
"Haw, Jimmie....! Drop the wee knife reet this minute noo, unless ye want it stuck up yer arse!"
Elvis
1st Sergeant
SaparotRob
Unter Gemeine Geschwader Murmeltier XIII
Still a bit jet lagged, I woke up in the dark. I went to the kitchen and made instant coffee, in the dark. That first gulp was an eye opener.
That's Thai red pepper.
True story.
