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Really? Geez, where do you think they did the testing for chemtrails? It's well known that this was some of the original dispersion tactics.I absolutely LOVE getting into adebateargument with chemtrail people!
Me: "ok, so you say chemtrails started in the early 1960's, where world governments started 'spraying' covertly using disguised passenger jets - so then, tell me what the f**k was going on over Germany in 1944..."
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Happy to take offline but I respectfully point out that the joke here was a plug a Fox News's statement that they "... acknowledge ...certain claims ... to be false...settlement reflects FOX's continued commitment to the highest journalistic standards".Come on now. This has politics written all over it. Not really the place for this.
And lets be honest, if this directed the other way we Mods would already have a report in our inbox.
And arguably this is aimed at anyone not just one political group.Same with this…
Happy to take offline but I respectfully point out that the joke here was a plug a Fox News's statement that they "... acknowledge ...certain claims ... to be false...settlement reflects FOX's continued commitment to the highest journalistic standards".
And arguably this is aimed at anyone not just one political group.
That said, I acknowledge and support the thread focus on the light hearted side as evidenced by other posts.
Sounds like most factories I've worked in.Moving on...
Defence-Contractor-Speak
Translation in Italics
In recognition of our recent strategic re-structuring exercise...
To avoid any more redundancies...
...and the unique economic importance of our region...
...in a marginal constituency...
...we have been awarded a major defence contract...
...the government are buying jobs with taxpayer's money...
...in a close-run tendering process with our competitors.
...but have gone through a charade of a competition to give the illusion that they're trying to save money.
We have adopted a new, goal-orientated, object-driven program structure...
We now have to actually build something...
...focused tightly on operational solutions...
...that can actually do something...
...and customer-driven requirements.
...that somebody actually needs.
We have conducted a series of customer/contractor interactive information exchange workshops...
We've asked the customer what they want...
...in which the customer has defined ground-breaking requirements...
...and it turns out that they want the Earth...
...and challenging cost-effectiveness targets.
...but they want to pay peanuts for it.
This will involve the company in developing cutting-edge enabling technologies...
What they want can't actually be built yet...
...within a contractor-oriented risk-management strategy...
...but they want us to take all the risk...
...delivering a performance-guaranteed solution.
...while they get all the benefits.
The Government is committed to an agreed-upon total program requirement...
... The Government will buy them all eventually...
...but the contract will be adaptable to prevailing economic conditions...
...but it may save money when it's hard up...
...by adopting a flexible procurement schedule...
...by buying less in some years and stretching the program out for longer...
...and an agreed-upon formula for overhead-dependent adjustment of unit costs.
...even though that makes them more expensive in the long run.
In consequence, program timescales have yet to be defined in detail...
So we have no idea how long your job will be safe for...
...and ultimate program financial surplus will depend upon a dynamic export sales drive.
...and we won't actually make any money out of it unless some other mug buys it.
This program presents a challenging future for our company...
This is all totally unreasonable...
...but in the current, highly competitive business climate...
...but because there's no work about...
...value-for-money is a customer-driven imperative.
...they've got us over a barrel.
We are implementing a comprehensive re-alignment of current team structures...
We are moving everyone about to different jobs...
...in order to bring dynamic new blood and fresh thinking to the project...
...because everyone who actually understands to project wants nothing to do with it...
and in order to ensure on-time achievement of program milestones, we will be undertaking a comprehensive review of human-resource management in the areas of personal career targets, working practices and resourcing.
...in consequence of which, we haven't a hope in hell of doing this unless you all work harder, for longer hours and less pay.
This review will present personal challenges for each of us...
This is all totally unreasonable...
...but in the current, highly competitive employment market...
...but because there's no work about.. .
...flexibility has become a fundamental staff requirement.
...we've got you over a barrel.
The board of directors have given their unequivocal backing to the project...
The board of directors will all be dead by the time the public enquiry reports...
...and your chairman and chief executive have every confidence in it's success, given their strong working relationship with government and industry.
...and your chairman and chief executive have already got their golden handshakes, knighthoods and directorships sewn up.
So the success of the project now rests on each and every member of the workforce...
So it's you that carries the can if it all goes wrong...
...in the great tradition of our company.
...just like always, sucker.