Quotes and Jokes (3 Viewers)
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special ed
1st Lieutenant
- 6,598
- May 13, 2018
Here, have another:
She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
special ed
1st Lieutenant
- 6,598
- May 13, 2018
I can't stop, here's one more:
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumfrence . He size was because of too much pi.
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumfrence . He size was because of too much pi.
Greg Boeser
1st Lieutenant
What about Sir Round?
Greg Boeser
1st Lieutenant
Spring training is in full swing now, and one of the managers was asked what he looks for in a good ball player.
"I look for a guy who can play all positions flawlessly, no errors. He never strikes out and always knows the perfect moment to steal a base or advance on a fly ball.
Trouble is, I can never convince the fat bastard to put down his beer and hot dog and come out of the stands."
"I look for a guy who can play all positions flawlessly, no errors. He never strikes out and always knows the perfect moment to steal a base or advance on a fly ball.
Trouble is, I can never convince the fat bastard to put down his beer and hot dog and come out of the stands."
special ed
1st Lieutenant
- 6,598
- May 13, 2018
The midget fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large
Snautzer01
Marshal
- 46,292
- Mar 26, 2007
Oh dear... you said.. no he didn't did he?
May be taken wrong. Brrr.
Well...
The little person fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large
Now you are save.
Last edited:
Snautzer01
Marshal
- 46,292
- Mar 26, 2007
Greg Boeser
1st Lieutenant
The opinions expressed in this video are not representative of the poster, this website or it's advertisers.Oh dear... you said.. no he didn't did he?
May be taken wrong. Brrr.
Well...
The little person fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large
Now you are save.
View: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=v8UVBgUd9GE
No short people were harmed in the making of this song.
Snautzer01
Marshal
- 46,292
- Mar 26, 2007
Got the single.
special ed
1st Lieutenant
- 6,598
- May 13, 2018
OK, one more today:
The sign on the lawn at the drug rehab center said, "Keep off the grass."
The sign on the lawn at the drug rehab center said, "Keep off the grass."
MiTasol
Captain
Delusions are often functional.
A mother's opinions about her children's beauty, intelligence, goodness, et cetera ad nauseam, keep her from drowning them at birth.
A mother's opinions about her children's beauty, intelligence, goodness, et cetera ad nauseam, keep her from drowning them at birth.
Snautzer01
Marshal
- 46,292
- Mar 26, 2007
Snautzer01
Marshal
- 46,292
- Mar 26, 2007
Snautzer01
Marshal
- 46,292
- Mar 26, 2007
MiTasol
Captain
LITTLE HARRY ON MATH
A teacher asks her class, 'If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence, and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?'
She calls on little Harry. He replies, 'None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.'
The teacher replies, 'The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.'
Then little Harry says, 'I have a question for YOU Miss Rogers'. There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:
One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
The second is gobbling down the top and sucking on the cone.
The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
Which one is married?'
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, 'Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.'
To which Little Harry replies, 'The correct answer is 'The one with the wedding-ring on, 'but I like your thinking.'
LITTLE HARRY ON MATH (Part 2)
Little Harry returns from school and says he got an 'F' in arithmetic.
'Why'? asks the father.
'The teacher asked 'How much is 2 x 3', so I said 6', replies Harry.
'But that's right' says his father.
'Yeah, but then she asked me, 'How much is 3 x 2'
'What's the flamin' difference?' asks the father.
'That's what I said' replied Harry.
LITTLE HARRY ON GRAMMAR
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word 'beautiful' in the same sentence twice.
First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, 'My father bought my mother a beautiful dress, and she looked beautiful in it.'
'Very good, Suzie,' replied the teacher.
She then called on little Michael. 'My mommy planned a beautiful banquet, and it turned out beautifully.'
She said, 'Excellent, Michael, excellent.'
Then the teacher reluctantly called on little Harry. 'Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just flamin' beautiful'.
LITTLE HARRY ON GETTING OLDER
Little Harry was sitting on a park bench, munching on one candy bar after another.
After the 6th bar, a man on the bench across from him said, 'Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give
you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat.' Little Harry replied, 'My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.' The man asked, 'Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time'?
Little Harry answered, 'No, he just minded his own flamin' business.'
A teacher asks her class, 'If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence, and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?'
She calls on little Harry. He replies, 'None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.'
The teacher replies, 'The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.'
Then little Harry says, 'I have a question for YOU Miss Rogers'. There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:
One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
The second is gobbling down the top and sucking on the cone.
The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
Which one is married?'
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, 'Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.'
To which Little Harry replies, 'The correct answer is 'The one with the wedding-ring on, 'but I like your thinking.'
LITTLE HARRY ON MATH (Part 2)
Little Harry returns from school and says he got an 'F' in arithmetic.
'Why'? asks the father.
'The teacher asked 'How much is 2 x 3', so I said 6', replies Harry.
'But that's right' says his father.
'Yeah, but then she asked me, 'How much is 3 x 2'
'What's the flamin' difference?' asks the father.
'That's what I said' replied Harry.
LITTLE HARRY ON GRAMMAR
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word 'beautiful' in the same sentence twice.
First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, 'My father bought my mother a beautiful dress, and she looked beautiful in it.'
'Very good, Suzie,' replied the teacher.
She then called on little Michael. 'My mommy planned a beautiful banquet, and it turned out beautifully.'
She said, 'Excellent, Michael, excellent.'
Then the teacher reluctantly called on little Harry. 'Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just flamin' beautiful'.
LITTLE HARRY ON GETTING OLDER
Little Harry was sitting on a park bench, munching on one candy bar after another.
After the 6th bar, a man on the bench across from him said, 'Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give
you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat.' Little Harry replied, 'My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.' The man asked, 'Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time'?
Little Harry answered, 'No, he just minded his own flamin' business.'
ThomasP
Chief Master Sergeant
ThomasP
Chief Master Sergeant
ThomasP
Chief Master Sergeant
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