LITTLE HARRY ON MATH
A teacher asks her class, 'If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence, and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?'
She calls on little Harry. He replies, 'None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.'
The teacher replies, 'The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.'
Then little Harry says, 'I have a question for YOU Miss Rogers'. There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:
One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
The second is gobbling down the top and sucking on the cone.
The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
Which one is married?'
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, 'Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.'
To which Little Harry replies, 'The correct answer is 'The one with the wedding-ring on, 'but I like your thinking.'
LITTLE HARRY ON MATH (Part 2)
Little Harry returns from school and says he got an 'F' in arithmetic.
'Why'? asks the father.
'The teacher asked 'How much is 2 x 3', so I said 6', replies Harry.
'But that's right' says his father.
'Yeah, but then she asked me, 'How much is 3 x 2'
'What's the flamin' difference?' asks the father.
'That's what I said' replied Harry.
LITTLE HARRY ON GRAMMAR
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word 'beautiful' in the same sentence twice.
First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, 'My father bought my mother a beautiful dress, and she looked beautiful in it.'
'Very good, Suzie,' replied the teacher.
She then called on little Michael. 'My mommy planned a beautiful banquet, and it turned out beautifully.'
She said, 'Excellent, Michael, excellent.'
Then the teacher reluctantly called on little Harry. 'Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just flamin' beautiful'.
LITTLE HARRY ON GETTING OLDER
Little Harry was sitting on a park bench, munching on one candy bar after another.
After the 6th bar, a man on the bench across from him said, 'Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give
you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat.' Little Harry replied, 'My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.' The man asked, 'Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time'?
Little Harry answered, 'No, he just minded his own flamin' business.'