Harrison, as to what some of the other guys said, I have also been there as well. I had very close friend (almost could say brother) die 10 years ago from a drilling rig collaps. It is a very hard thing to come over, but we all find our own ways to deal with it. Instead of trying to deal with the loss, I remembered all the good things that we went through together. That is what made me able to deal with his loss, and might be something to help you too, but in the end you will find your own way. The only hard thing is that the day he died, is the same day as my wife's birthday. So although I celebrate on one end, I mourn on the other, but either way I perfer to celebrate both her birthday and his life, as that is what they would want you to do. My thougths and prayers go out to you and her family.