Revolution....!

[Downwind.Maddl-Land]

I was walking down the street with the wife, and all of a sudden we come across the mother-in-law, being beaten up by six men. And the wife says,

"Aren't you going to help?"

And, I think for a minute, and I say,

"No, six should be enough."

 

[wilbur1]

 

[Screaming Eagle]

 

[Aussie1001]

good one !!!!

 

[Downwind.Maddl-Land]

Shamelessly copied from another website - but I nearly wet myself.....

A husband walks into Victoria's Secret to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price, the more sheer, the higher the price.

Naturally, he opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500, and takes it home. He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and model it for him.

Upstairs, the wife thinks:

"I have an idea. It's so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, but I'll do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow, and keep the $500 refund for myself."​

She appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.

The husband says, "Good Grief! You'd think for $500, they'd at least iron it!"

He never heard the shot.

Funeral on THURSDAY at Noon.

Closed coffin

 

[Screaming Eagle]

 

[wilbur1]

 

[Gnomey]

 

[wilbur1]

I just showed that last one to my family, ithink my mom is still laughing

 

[Wayne Little]

Aw, you Guys are crackin' me up! good stuff
Damn my wife liked Becca's joke the most....go figure?

 

[Aussie1001]

 

[Downwind.Maddl-Land]

My wife and I 'had words' over Christmas,


but I didn't get to use mine.

 

[wilbur1]

:agrue: was it bad or bad

 

[Downwind.Maddl-Land]

No Wilbur - it just tied in with post #17! I love my partner (I hate the words 'wife' 'spouse'!) very much.




And I have her permission to say so........

 

[Lucky13]

I tend to use words like "the good lady"...

 

[Downwind.Maddl-Land]

Yeah, but I like to tell the truth........

 

[wilbur1]

I haven't spoken to my wife for 6 years....


I didn't want to interrupt.

Gotcha d8)

 

[Downwind.Maddl-Land]

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.

When they get there, St. Peter says, 'We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!'

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.

St. Peter chains them together and says, 'Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!'

The next day, the second woman accidentally steps on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.

She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on ... very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin.

St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

The happy woman says, 'I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?'

The guy says, 'I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!'

 

[wilbur1]

 

[Lucky13]

LMAO!