Rules of dating a Drill Instructors daughter

Discussion in 'OFF-Topic / Misc.' started by Hunter368, Sep 25, 2007.

  1. Hunter368

    Hunter368 Active Member

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    Rule One:
    If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

    Rule Two:
    You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

    Rule Three:
    I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose his compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

    Rule Four:
    I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

    Rule Five:
    It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."

    Rule Six:
    I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

    Rule Seven:
    As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

    Rule Eight:
    The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

    Rule Nine:
    Do not lie to me. On issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

    Rule Ten:
    Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.
     
  2. Screaming Eagle

    Screaming Eagle Active Member

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  3. Maestro

    Maestro Active Member

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    Hah... So you tried dating Les' daughter... Eh, Hunter ? ;)
     
  4. Becca

    Becca Member

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    :lol: Lucky we aren't raising girls...
     
  5. Hunter368

    Hunter368 Active Member

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    Hmmmmmm nope. Besides I think he has only a son. :lol:
     
  6. ccheese

    ccheese Member In Perpetuity
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    I like rule Four......

    :lol:

    Charles
     
  7. Parmigiano

    Parmigiano Member

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    looks almost identical to 'rules of dating a mafia boss daughter' : wording is different (i.e on rule 8 replace 'policeman,parents, nuns' with 'uncle, elder brother, family friend') but concepts are the same :)
     
  8. DerAdlerIstGelandet

    DerAdlerIstGelandet Der Crew Chief
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    There is only one rule:

    DONT DATE A DRILL SGTS DAUGHTER
     
  9. Micdrow

    Micdrow “Archive”
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    or a general's daughter, had a friend that did that, wasnt pleasant when they broke up. Never did find out where he got transfered to!!!!
     
  10. Soundbreaker Welch?

    Soundbreaker Welch? Active Member

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    That was pretty funny, but scary too in a way.

    Anybody know a tough dad like that, or is a tough dad like that?
     
  11. DerAdlerIstGelandet

    DerAdlerIstGelandet Der Crew Chief
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    My father was a Drill Seargent for 3 years. When he came home and took off the hat he was a normal joe.
     
  12. Konigstiger205

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    Adler is right...don't date the girl of a drill instructor.....
     
  13. Parmigiano

    Parmigiano Member

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    I agree with that and I would extend it to "don't date the girl of any father like that" unless you are REALLY in love (and by definition you don't care about all the troubles and the odds)

    Best tactic when a girl has that kind of father is to wait until nature takes over: if the girl is not demented sooner or later she will explode and will send to hell her father and all his medieval rules...

    I knew several girls with a too rigid father that, once they could get free or deceive his authority, took their 'revenge' with money lender's interest rates...
     
  14. Konigstiger205

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    Usually the girls with those kind of fathers like that end up bad because like Parmigiano said as soon as they get loose they go wild....I know many girls who ended up really bad because of their parents....
     
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